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2025-09-15T14:53:09+02:00

motivation and burnout

Publié par Gaelle.R

Last week I was experiencing a mild burnout, I could still work out but it was hard for me to get out of bed and some days my energy was really depleted. One thing I learn in my fitness journey is that some days you won't be able to give 100% you might be able to give 20% and that's okay. Especially now that I work out 6 days a week back to back, I can't work out with the same intensity day after day because I am not a robot. Some days I will have more energy and some days I will feel tired and that's okay but the most important thing is showing up. 

On the days where I feel tired and I don't want to go to the gym, I switch my work out to make it more bare able. I mostly feel this way after leg day because my leg days are very intense and I lift heavy so the following day I don't really have a lot of energy. On those days I don't lift as heavy, I don't do intense cardio and if the weight I am using feels really heavy I won't push myself I'll simply use my body weight. People think you always have to lift weights to see result but sometimes you can use your body weight to do some exercises it is just as effective. Once I stop forcing myself to give 100% every time I work out I became happier...

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2025-09-15T14:04:38+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

Redeeming love : movie on Netflix 

 

I’ve never cried so hard because of a movie actually no I cried even worse because of that show “from scratch” also on Netflix.

 

I have not cried a very long time and this movie had me bawling my eyes out! I am still crying writing this. (In case you want to watch the movie, go watch it and read this later)

 

Spoiler alert 

 

This movie is about a girl named Angel who was sold at the age of 5 and she was in a brothel. Basically she would sleep with the men that came in and those man would pay to sleep with her. She costed the highest because she was sold as a little girl and she was extremely beautiful. Her mother died when she was little and her father killed himself after accidentally sleeping with her at the brothel. She didn’t know who her father was until after she slept with him. 

 

Then came a man named Michael who’s extremely handsome and 6 feet tall. He would always pay for Angel but he would never sleep with her, he would just talk to her and he kept telling her that he could save her and take her out of that brothel to offer her a better life. She would laugh and she wouldn’t believe him because all she’s known is men betraying her and using her for her body. She kept telling Michael that she wouldn’t leave with him. And one day Michael just stopped coming, she started getting a little sad and she started thinking about leaving the brothel. But the manager would not let her leave, they beat her up so bad she was bed ridden. Suddenly Michael had a hunch that something was happening to Angel so he went to the brothel when he got there he saw Angel on the bed, beaten really badly. He asked the manager how much she owed and he said he will take her with him. He paid her debt and asked her to come with him but as his wife, Angel agreed and they left. 

 

Michael lived on a farm and when he brought Angel back she had to stay in bed for a few days because she was still recovering from the beating at the brothel. But little by little she regained her strength and she started asking Michael to sleep with her as a way to pay him back. Michael felt offended because he didn’t bring her with him to be a sex slave, he genuinely loved her from the moment he saw her walking down the street where he worked in the city. He wouldn’t dare touch her inappropriately because he loved her and he wanted her to trust him. So she started trusting him but she still couldn’t fathom a man loving her because she had slept with so many men before but Michael didn’t care. He said God told him that Angel was his wife. Angel didn’t believe in God ever since her mother died and she was left alone to fend for herself. 

 

She then tried to escape the farm but Michael found her and gave her water and a coat because “it gets cold out there” he said. He left her to make her own decision whether to go back to town to the brothel or back home safe with Michael.  So she made the decision to go back home to Michael. That was her first act of trust, and Michael valued that. He still wouldn’t touch her because according to him she wasn’t ready even though they were married. One morning Michael took her out to see the sunrise after she had a bad dream, she then asked him why he wouldn’t touch her because she was his wife, she said “I don’t blame you” she thought Michael wouldn’t touch her because she had sex with a lot of man but Michael told her that simply he was waiting until she was ready. And oh boy was she ready, they made love not sex. She let herself be in his presence and she even called out his name which was a first for her because she normally wouldn’t know the men she slept with. But a few days later Michael’s brother  in law named Paul  came by and immediately Paul recognized Angel from the brothel. He tried to warn Michael but he had already knew and that wasn’t a surprise. Angel then tried to escape again this time she asked Paul to take her to town, and Paul ask her to repay him so she had sex with him ( she immediately regretted it but she went to town anyway)

 

When Angel got to town she saw that the brothel was burned down and a lot of the girls died in the fire. Another man took her in and pimped her out. Michael went back to town and got her back. She came back to the farm with Michael. Immediately she saw how much pain she caused Michael she felt dirty and she tried to take a bath in the river she was bleeding from washing herself too much. Michael told her he forgave her.

 

They moved past all of that and they started helping a family they found on the side of the road. When Angel realized how much Michael wanted children and she knew she couldn’t have any. She told Michael she can’t have children but that didn’t change a thing Michael still loved her. She felt so bad that she ran away again but this time she left a girl from the family who they were helping a letter asking her to be with Michael and to give him children.

 

Angel left and went back to town, she started working at a restaurant but that restaurant burned down  by the guy she was sold to when she was a child. That guy took her and wanted to start another brothel with Angel. He also had young girls who he took, Angel prayed to God for the first time to save her. She then outed the guy in front of the whole town and told everyone she was sold as a kid and the guy had little girls locked away in there. The town got mad and hanged the guy and Angel escaped with the girls.

 

Angel then started a shelter for girls like her who wanted to get a better life but one day Paul came in and asked her to go back to Michael. Angel told him she can’t go back because she can’t have children and that’s why she left so Micheal can be with another girl who could give him children. Paul started crying when he realize that Angel didn’t leave because she was selfish she left because she wanted Michael to have children of his own. Paul begged her for forgiveness and she told him that she forgave him a long time ago. 

 

 

She then went back to Michael (ugh finally) Michael forgave her and Angel tells him her real name is Sarah. Then they went on to have 2 kids! She got pregnant by God’s grace!

 

Ugh this movie really taught me that love is patient, kind, it doesn’t take into account what happened in the past, love is relentless… I am crying just thinking about how Michael really loved Angel unconditionally yeah yeah it’s fiction but a girl can dream. I hope I find a love like that… God knows how weird and stubborn I am and I need a very patient guy. 

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2025-09-15T00:18:36+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

 

I hope the person I date is not too clingy because that would really bother me. I would hate if he is asking me way too many questions about my tight routine like why I am spending 2 hours at the gym or why do I sleep so much? 

When I am talking to a guy I always tell him about my tight schedule because if that doesn’t work for you then leave me alone because I will not change it because you simply want me to do something that would benefit you. There are a ton of girls out here actually a lot more than man, so pick the girl that suits you best and leave me out of the equation trust me I will not be mad. 

I hope that guy will let me live my life and supports me but still knows that I love him. I love feeling free because the moment I feel suffocated I might put a little distance. 

I hope we have our time together and our alone time as well. I just want to feel loved and supported not smothered and kept on a leash. 

I want him to be happy doing what he likes to do, I will cheer him on and I hope he does the same for me. 

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2025-09-13T19:23:28+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

 

Charlie Kirk 

 

I don’t condone any violence against anyone whether you have a reason to commit such crime or not. What happened to Charlie is extremely sad, you can agree with me and you can also disagree. Killing anyone is the worse sin there is, no one has the right to kill anyone. However, Everyone has a right to their own opinion, the same way a gay couple feel they should have the right to get married and walk down the street holding hands and everyone should be okay with it is the same way Charlie could sit down and talk about his views on abortion, same sex marriage … except he didn’t force anyone to agree with what he had to say. He always stated that he is expressi his views because he has the freedom to speak freely. One could disagree with some of his views but it was never a reason  to shoot him in front of his family. I agree with a lot of the things he said, one could argue but you’re a black woman, so? There are some things he said I didn’t agree with but everyone has the right to speak about their opinions. He simply did not deserve to die like that. He was 31 years old with 2 kids and a wife. He was a human being before anything, he was a father before anything else he did. His political views shouldn’t matter because he’s a human. God told us to love everyone even the neighbor you can’t stand yeah you have to tolerate  him, I didn’t make that up it’s one of the commandments.

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2025-09-12T16:23:13+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

why I am scary: 

I'll simply leave

I won't yell, or even tell you anything. I'll just disappear, you will wonder what you did wrong? actually it was never one thing, it was multiple things you did and I have a folder for everyone. You did one final thing recently that solidify my reasons for leaving, I never leave for something light. I leave when I feel disrespected, undervalued, taken for granted, ignored...

I won't seek closure because I knew what happened, and I have been paying attention to who you are as a person so trust me I won't expect more from anyone who's not capable of giving me more than they have already given me. I don't expect anyone to change suddenly when they see me leaving. My leave has nothing to do with the person but more to do with my self respect. whether or not you've change is on you but as for me I am gone.

It doesn't matter how much I love someone, I will leave. I stopped talking to my own mother for 1 week for something she did. I said my own MOTHER! I don't love anyone more than her, she's my whole life. I talk to her daily, if I do anything I call her. I tell my mom everything even the things you wouldn't think someone would tell their mother, I tell her. She knows everyone I talk to by name and by face (I sent pictures) she's my confidant.  we talk 10 times a day! imagine this I stopped talking to her. she was shocked! I told her "unless you're willing to change that we don't have to talk daily, I will always love you but this is a big problem for me". I will never love anyone more than I love my mother, I will love my child just as much but my mother is my whole life. If I am willing to walk away from HER imagine little you? or anyone else?

If you ignore me, I'll leave. I won't ask why. if you stop talking to me then I won't talk to you either...good riddance. I never beg, seek closure, or plead anyone to stay. If you want to go then go. No matter how much it hurts or How much I love you I will walk away. No one is safe.

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2025-09-12T14:54:01+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

I am very straight forward person, my interest are very on the dot. The basic things anyone need to know about me (well if you care)

  • I like football and I am obsessed with Mbappe but not in a romantic way, I see him as the most enticing human being. I find him extremely attractive, talented, best football player, funny, kind, confident ok maybe I do have a crush on him! ugh so what? also yes the screen savers on all of  my devices is always a picture of Mbappe lol
  • I like working out. My whole personality is kinda based around the gym, I will mention that I was working out or about to work out in any conversation doesn't matter who's speaking to me lol. I want to have a gym bestie who's just as obsessed as me so that we can talk about work outs, macros and our diet, how to make food with the highest proteins, discussing gym fits and best athletic brand, protein powder... ugh Jehovah please send me a gym obsessed bestie, I already have a spiritual bestie.
  • I am a writer. I am always writing in my phone, in my diary, on a napkin, a random piece of paper, my hands...I love to write about anything that's how I process my emotions.
  • I love reading. Right now I am obsessed with dark romance and psychology so any genre of book about those topics I am down like the economy to read them.
  • cats. If you see me then picture a cat. I love big cats, domesticated cats, wild cats... any cats I am obsessed. Basically cats, cats, cats that's all me. If you have a cat send me pics whenever I will lose it and tell you how pretty you cat is. I will stop on the street to pet a random cat, I'll wash my hands later.
  • sleeping. I am always taking a nap or pl;aning to take a nap when I have free time. I love sleeping, I am excited just thinking about taking a nap later lol.
  • eating. I love food, I am always thinking about what I am going to cook for my meal prep for the week because it has to be yummy and high in protein.
  • Matcha. I am obsessed with matcha, I cannot drink coffee so I can only drink matcha, or chai tea or refreshers. My body hates caffeine that's why I can't take pre work outs.
  • love F1 and obsessed with Charles Leclerc I think he's really cute can't wait for him to win another Monaco grand prize again with Ferrari :)))

all you need to know: basically football, Mbappe, Matcha, gym, food, sleep, CATS, books, F1...

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2025-09-11T17:24:45+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

sentences that trigger me:

  • anything that starts with " you need to" I am not listening because first of all I don't need to do anything. I will do what I want.  If I feel like you're giving me an order I won't listen, just politely suggest something to me and I'll listen. I don't feeling as if I am being controlled by other people. Give me the freedom to chose what I want and I'll appreciate you more.
  • "calm down" first of all no one has ever calmed down in the history of telling someone to calm down. If we are joking and you tell me to calm down then that's fine. If there's already tension in the room just be quiet and let me be because if you keep talking in my ear I will snap. 

I'll add more later

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2025-09-09T16:29:32+02:00

natural hair struggles

Publié par Gaelle.R

At times I do get tired of doing my hair even if I do it once a week, but sometimes I want to change it or style it differently. Do I want to get braids? not necessarily, I think that I am desensitize to added hair. I love my afro but at times I want to put more effort in, especially it shrinks a lot at the moment because of the humidity and because I work out a lot. I still don't want to wear wigs, braids or any added hair. what you see is what you get, I won't make anyone else feel bad about how they choose to do their hair. If it looks good trust me I will tell them. 

But I am looking for more hairstyle to rotate because I am getting bored...

Back to the drawing board or pinterest lol there I will find tons of hairstyle to try...it will be fun :)

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