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2025-06-20T16:32:12+02:00

Afro love

Publié par Gaelle.R

This morning on my way to work I saw the most gorgeous girl walking her dog with the biggest afro! she looked soooo magnificent; i've seen her a couple of times before and she always has her hair out. There's just something powerful about a black girl with an afro that is just out of this world!

our hair sits like a crown, each coils create a story. I cannot wait to teach my daughter how to love her natural hair and to stand proud with her hair. we don't need a 30 inch buss down, we need a nice healthy afro ! I am way more beautiful with my own hair when it's done than with a wig. 

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2025-06-17T16:38:35+02:00

goals

Publié par Gaelle.R

My goals for this month aren't going as planned but that's part of life but I Plan to keep trying because uncomfortability means growth. If you always pick what feels comfortable to you then you will never grow. I have been going to the gym 6 days a week starting last week :) now I have to make a comment at the meetings now. I am not shy to make a comment anymore, I feel more confident in myself and in my capabilities. In the past I thought what I have to say wasn't as insightful especially when I was a kid which couldn't be more wrong! people loved it when I made comments because normally I wouldn't, so it was a little shocking? but a good surprise. Making comments at the meetings have always been one thing I struggled with, I was really shy as a kid. I kind of broken out of my shell the older I get, I wouldn't necessarily identify myself as being shy but I am in fact very reserved and standoff-ish at times. I don't need a lot of friends, you will see me with one or 2 people. As I always say I don't have enough energy to pass around, I am a sleepy girl lol. 

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2025-06-17T02:13:03+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

 

I had a little conversation with a friend and she asked me what am going to do with my hair because we have an event coming up? And I said what’s wrong with my hair? She told me “ you could wear a lace and change your hair” I told her no I don’t like lace and wigs she was shook!? She kept asking me why I don’t like it? I told her nah I don’t like it because I get hot and it’s itchy. Although what I said was true but that’s not why I hate wigs and fake hair, I don’t like it right now because I want to love myself fully, I want to be confident in who God made me to be. I don’t have a problem with lace, braids or any of that stuff I actually think they’re nice when they’re done right but you won’t find them on my head anytime soon. 

 

Why do I have to explain why I hate fake hair!? Why is it shocking for a black woman to say nah I will sit this one out I don’t want to try braids or wigs. Why are you asking me what I’m going to do with my hair? It’s done ! My hair is fine the way it is. If I have to pick my own avatar I would still pick my hair the way it is. My hair is done stop asking me what I’m going to do with it. 

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2025-06-16T05:17:04+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

 

Childhood.

My faith. 

I grew up being a Jehovah witness, ever since I was a baby my second mom and dad which are my uncle and aunt brought me to the truth. I never celebrated any birthdays or holidays and that felt normal. I got baptized when I was 12 years old, when I got baptized I was sure of my faith. I was always happy to serve Jehovah and I was very spiritual even before I became a teenager. I remember being a kid and doing bible studies with other kids. I always felt so safe learning about Jehovah and sharing what I learned with other kids or anyone else. I remember being 5 years old and preaching adults! I was sooo courages with my little voice. Every summer vacation when school was done I would sign up to be a pioneer ! Field service was always fun.  I was born confident but later on in life after I went through a few things I became insecure… I am so glad I am finding myself again. 

 

Because of my faith I remember the bravest thing I did! When I was in 8th grade and refusing to sing my country’s national anthem in front of the whole school! My principal called me in the office and I told him proudly “ I am a Jehovah witness I am neutral in all things related to politics including the national anthem I can stand like everyone else but I will not sing or do any gesture to show that I am part of it.” He wanted to have a meeting with my parents and of course my uncle and aunt came in, the principal called me in his office after the meeting to tell me How proud of me he was! He said I was different and that was sooo rare for young kids to be so sure and dedicated about their faith. 

 

I remember my walk with Jehovah ever since I was a little girl, yes there are things I cannot remember but the safety I felt under Jehovahs wings can never be something I forget. Even years later in college when I didn’t go to meetings I told everyone I was a Jehovah witness or that I was. Everyone knew that I wanted to be a Jehovah witness. Because of my faith I couldn’t date ! I knew if I dated anyone he would have to have the same faith as me. I couldn’t even start anything serious with anyone. Yeah I’ve had crushes but none of them made it to the next step. There were a lot of immoral things I couldn’t let myself do even if was in that environment, in my heart I always knew being under Jehovah’s wing is the best place to be. 

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2025-06-15T03:16:02+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

 

Childhood

 

Working out has truly connected me with my childhood. I was very active as a kid and I am remembering that now! I have a lot of stamina when I am working out and that stem from when I was a kid. I used to love PE, played basketball, played football… I truly loved to move my body. The more I work out the more I am remembering about what I used to like. It may come to a shock to some of you but I cannot remember a huge part of my childhood. I have been through so much as a child and I’ve accepted that not remembering things is part of my trauma.

 

In therapy we tried exercises to make me remember parts of my childhood but obviously that didn’t work.  Watching football also helped me remember a lot of emotions that I forgot about. Watching football used to be monumental in my house! Me and my uncle would wake up at 5 am to watch Brazil play back in the day! My family love football, my mom loves it too ;) I forgot that I grew up in that environment this is how much I blocked out a huge part of my childhood. Also reading really connected me with the little girl I was, I used to read a lot to escape my reality. When I read a book now, I remember random things I used to do while reading when I was a kid! Recently I remember how I would hide under the covers with a flashlight to read and my mom would say “ why don’t you turn on the light” or why don’t you uncover your head it’s midday! But now I remember I used to do that because I felt safe under the covers with my book. 

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2025-06-14T20:17:02+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

Kissing? What does it mean to you?

you want my honest thoughts? A kiss doesn’t mean a lot to me because my first kiss was with someone I didn’t like. I hated the kiss. Every kiss that followed after that felt like something I do for fun. Kissing someone doesn’t mean I love them, because that’s not how I receive love. Kissing is physical for me, it’s like having sex with someone you don’t love so you’re not making love it’s just physical. Love for me is to be bonded with someone through emotional connection, being at ease and at peace with the connection, deep conversations, acts of services you have to show me that you love me through actions otherwise I won’t believe a word you say … kissing means nothing if I’m not emotionally invested. I haven’t been emotionally invested in a very long time! I love kissing but it’s not something that means a lot to me. I didn’t even kiss  my first love and he was the guy that had my heart.  ( did he have my heart? All I knew it took me years to move on!)

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2025-06-13T15:43:53+02:00

priorities

Publié par Gaelle.R

I have a busy day! and I don't think some people understand. Being mad at me because I didn't answer your text as soon as you texted me is childish! even if I saw your text I can decide when to answer it is my phone after all! I don't expect you to text me back right away, you're not my man even if you were I would still give you some grace. At times I need time to think before I answer. I hate to commit to things I am not sure about, I have a ton of boundaries now because of how people took my kindness for granted and hurt me in ways I never thought was possible. As I was saying I need 8 hours of sleep and If I don't get it at night best believe I will take a nap during the day.  I am not always a fast texter, at times I need to process my life and I need space to do that. I can't keep communicating with people at all hours of the day, that's draining.

my day goes:

  • 8-9 hours of work
  • 2 hours at the gym
  • 1 hour before bed for journaling, praying, reading the bible and cooling down
  • 8 hours of sleep

if I call you or text you just know you mean a lot to me, especially right now.

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2025-06-11T21:13:57+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

Not that you asked but i'll tell you anyway only because I am disappointed right now. So I no longer talk to my gymbros because friendship between men and women is difficult when we both don't want the same thing. I love having gym friends because we push each other but the girls are sooo rude. The men are nicer and more supportive. I will miss them, I had to let them go. I was getting weird vibes, one of them likes me and he's not even the cute one ughhh not that it matters...I can't date outside my faith. 

I just avoid them plus I go early on the days we used to work out together, they don't have my phone number because I never gave it. The cute one was being weird because his bro likes me and he's the one I got along with the most!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why :(

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2025-06-10T22:31:22+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

Hey you guys,

You are all my reading family. I am doing okay. Some days are harder than others because I am officially entering the grieving process of my dad. I am finally beginning to accept that I'll never be able to talk to him again. For so long I have been in denial, engaging in reckless activities... acting as if I didn't lose a parent but deep down I knew this day would come where I would come face to face with the reality of losing him. somedays I cry, someday I smile thinking about something he said to me... there was a time we used to talk a lot. We had so much in common! we have the same temperament. He loves football just like me. He was soooo sweet. I could talk to him about anything even sex, he warned me about men and how they think. He was someone exceptional, I'll never forget him. He was so cool. He was always ready to listen to anything I have to say.

...

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