No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2025-09-08T14:49:53+02:00

under the weather

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Septembre 2025 à 02:49 PM

As Much as I claim that I hate the rainy weather, I actually do love it deep down especially when there's a thunder. I love gloomy weather when I don't have to go out and when I am having a lazy day. For example on sundays I love a rainy day but when I have to get ready to go somewhere like work, ugh it's tough getting out of bed. I feel soooo sleepy these days, all I want to do is sleep. I feel tired in all the ways a person can feel tired. No matter how much I sleep at times I wake up feeling as if I could sleep some more... I cannot be sad. I mean I try to be but it's hard to let myself be sad. I am really tough on myself and I will hate to be sad again... it's not the same as before. In the past I would struggle to see my worth but now I can see how valuable I am, my ego is in fact through the roof because I lift weights but I still feel tired. I still want to hide away and be alone... I know doing those things won't be good for me so I still show up to everything no matter what even if I cry on the way there, I will show up.

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2025-09-04T20:33:41+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Septembre 2025 à 08:33 PM

Ignorance is bliss.

I don’t need to know what everyone else is doing, I don’t need to know who’s dating who? Listen I don’t care. If it’s not about ways to get more money, to get closer to Jehovah, about fitness, about beauty tips leave me out of it I don’t care.

all I care about right now is my wellbeing and nothing else. When people see me sad they think it’s about love but it’s always about money lol it’s always when I’m broke and I need to plan something so I get super depressed because I can’t do it. Next time you see me sad don’t ask me what’s wrong, give me some money.
people don’t believe me when I say this but the last time I was truly depressed about a boy I was 14, love from a man is not a priority for me. Yes I want to experience it but that’s not the only thing I’m looking forward to. I think I look forward to more physical intimacy more than actual love lol wow we’re being honest today! Love has left a sour taste in my mouth ever since I was 13…

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2025-09-03T14:57:44+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Septembre 2025 à 02:57 PM

I don't, so why would you ?

I wasn't tasted by any man why would my future husband been tasted by more than 5 women?

I don't party every week end why would my future husband being at every party?

I don't skip the gym why would my future husband not work out?

I don't talk to people I have no interest in why would my future talk to every woman?

I never cheated why would my future husband cheated before?

I've never dated anyone (but I am rare) so why would my future husband have more than 10 exes?

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2025-09-03T14:49:41+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Septembre 2025 à 02:49 PM

There's this Russian lady being dragged online because she claimed to be a "high value woman" yet she is somebody's side chick, the guy is getting married and she's begging him to let her suck his .... anyway when I saw this I was shocked! I never followed her but I have come across her videos. She actually charges people $1000 for relationship advise yet she is taking none of her advise.

I just want to say, I am not perfect. When I give an advise about dating I always put a disclaimer that I've never dated anyone or been in a relationship before. So take my advise with a grain of salt, I always say the coach don't play lol. I am not a relationship expert and I'll never be one because I am a mess. My love life is a joke but the people who went through the worse have the best relationship advise because they've done it all. Actually I have no experience! I barely know how to flirt! I just stare at the guy I like and hope he gets the hint that I like him. I won't even call, talk to him or text him... one thing for sure I never chase. They always come find me. I will run away at the first sign of me realizing that I like someone. I am still making mistakes, but I am learning from each one of them. Never say this can never be me because it could in fact be you.

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2025-09-02T20:33:04+02:00

PROGRESS

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Septembre 2025 à 08:33 PM

I can't post my butt on here lol

but ever since I increase my protein intake over the last 2 weeks I have seen tremendous growth. I am very happy with it, I lift heavier and I take my time when I am doing glute exercises (when I am lifting I go slower and pause a little at the top or when I feel my muscle stretching during each movement) I eat way more than I was already eating. You would think well you will get fat ! but not really.

Actually I work out 6 days a week and I have high intensity work out days on average I burn 1000 calories per day or a little past that. So yes I exercise a lot, I burn a lot of calories. which is why I needed to eat way more.

my diet consist of:

Greek yogurt

ribs

chicken breast

eggs

protein pancakes

protein shakes (65grams of protein per serving)

potatoes

beef/steak

rice

shrimp

milk

cheese

did you peanut butter has 7g of protein in it!

I would drink protein water if there was any lol

chick peas

lentils

quinoa

more high protein recipes that I found online. simply exercising is not enough! you need to eat

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2025-09-02T16:02:39+02:00

WORK

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Septembre 2025 à 04:02 PM

Honestly, I don't think I would survive without working because I need something to get my mind off of things. Work always does that for me, when I am home I never want to do anything. I am usually on the couch watching TV, reading or napping but when I go to work I am interacting with people I don't have time to think about things that will hurt me.

The world can be cruel, I encounter so many narcistic people who drain the life out of me. I need a vacation... emotionally I am drained.

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2025-09-02T14:54:53+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Septembre 2025 à 02:54 PM

it may sound weird but I love awkward men! the ones that are soooo handsome and they don't even know it. They act a little shy but I can tell they aren't that shy. I just want to protect them, it's like you're my baby. I love taking over and then suddenly they're like nah I am taking over ughhhhh I love it

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2025-09-02T14:22:57+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Septembre 2025 à 02:22 PM

update:

It's a rough beginning of the week, well I partly cried this morning. I haven't cried in months...the tears did not want to come out but I needed to cry so I kinda force myself to do it.

September will be a good month I won't let the first couple of days ruined it. I am strong, capable and determined to have a great week. Despite anything the devil may throw at me I will keep fighting.

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2025-08-31T18:03:20+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Août 2025 à 06:03 PM

What I did to heal my abandonment issues:

I am still on my healing journey and I’ll probably be healing for as long as live. I am more aware of my toxic patterns because of the work that I am doing, and I can see what needs to change in order for me to live a much better life.

At first I looked at it this way, I know for a fact that my abandonment issues stemmed from my dad not being constant in my life and I knew I needed a male figure in my life to heal that trauma. So I got a male therapist because I wanted to be comfortable with men to be able to be vulnerable to at least one man. I tried being vulnerable but he wasn’t the right therapist for me at all. If anything I didn’t like the way he was staring at me during my sessions, it felt like flirting and some comments he made did not help me at all. After that last therapist I stopped looking on the outside to heal that part of myself . I even had a male primary care doctor then again that doctor was completely out of line! There’s a pattern here and when I realize the more vulnerable I am to some men the more they want to prey on me I felt hopeless. So then I became this firm and strict person when I am talking to a man so then I looked like a brick wall.

I realize I needed to do a lot of work by taking accountability on my own. By being honest about my feelings, by acknowledging when I need to take a step back or when I need to allow someone in my life even if I am scared that they will also leave me. Journaling has helped me tremendously, I am on my second journal this year ! I filled one up in 6 months and it was a lot of pages of me just describing my feelings, thoughts, emotions and sorrows.

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2025-08-31T04:42:11+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Août 2025 à 04:42 AM

Weird things about me

I never want to go out: when I am going out to a function I am dreading it and I would much rather be home. But then I get there and I have so much fun, socialize and I may even be the life of the party. Then people are asking me to hang out again and I’m like “NO”
When I’m asking someone questions it may feel like a screening or a questionnaire: if it’s a guy he might think why is she asking me all these questions is she interested ? Half the time I’m not interested those questions are the pre requisite to being potentially part of my circle, answer one question wrong and you won’t get that opportunity lol.
When I am at a breaking point and I mean I am about to lose it. You will see me a lot! You will be like wow look at her stepping out more and socializing no baby that’s not normal for me, there is a loading crash out and after you see me a lot you probably won’t hear from me or see me for 6 months.
I be thinking I will make a great partner and I will give my man everything he wants. But in reality I am a real life cat lol I don’t like being touched all the time, I have lots of boundaries, I will love on him when I feel like it. That’s why if he already looks delicious it will make it easier for me to be affectionate, if I already don’t find him attractive ugh forget it. Don’t touch me, don’t breathe by the fact don’t even talk to me lol

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