No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2025-10-30T14:08:14+01:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Octobre 2025 à 02:08 PM

back on the topic of being an introvert, and yes I am a little shy in large social gatherings. Big deal lol, In the past I hated admitting things about myself especially if it didn't paint me in the light of the person I want to be...but I am not perfect and I have tons of flaws. Truth is I am not always a nice person, I am not always accommodating or willing to help, I can be boring, I can be standoffish, I can be a bitch lol, I can be stubborn, mean, rude ... those are all humans emotions but it doesn't mean I have to act on those feelings.

This year I have been doing a ton of inner work and one of the things I am currently working on is to accept who I am as a person. Accept my flaws, admit that I have them so that I can begin working on them. I love my alone time but I need to spend time with other people. I socialize at work but it's not the same, at times I need a girls night out. Dating has always been hard for me because I get excited when I meet someone and then I get tired of making efforts, that's how I know I have never been in love. I have been infatuated, obsessed but love? I am not sure I know what the love between a man and a woman is. It's like the moment I start talking to a guy, I begin making a list of all the things that's wrong with him before I can even fall for him. I have needs... but love? I don't know what that is. I read about it, I see people fall in love but I don't think that will ever happen to me. I hope I am wrong but for now I don't see it happening. I do talk to guys, I do go out on dates but I am not sure what to do with them when they want to move to the next step (gee I sound like I am collecting men lol) I don't promise any guy anything. I barely contact them. If they don't call, I don't call; they don't text, I don't text. I am also an avoidant, which is bad and not a flex! I hate that I avoid love...I am working to feel secure and not run away all the time.

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2025-10-29T20:33:07+01:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Octobre 2025 à 08:33 PM

Introverted

I came here multiple times to refute the idea that I am an introvert, sometimes I would admit it but I would often say that I am an ambivert. Truth is I am an introvert and everything I like identify me as that.

I don’t like to talk when I don’t have to talk. I like a peaceful life, I hate crowds and I hate loud people. I get overstimulated quickly and I hate to be in a busy environment. If you see me walking down the street and you don’t feel like saying hi well don’t worry I don’t want to say hi either. I like being alone, so much that I have to force myself to date. I hate talking on the phone, I hate FaceTiming… it’s a lot of work. It has to be organic, someone who respect my boundaries and who doesn’t want to change me.

I’ll talk more about this later I am going to sleep, I just took a NyQuil and I am about to sleep the whole afternoon it’s currently 3:30 pm I should be up by 10 pm lol and fall asleep again. See how would I explain that to a man?! He would lose interest I need someone who understands me and who trusts me.

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2025-10-29T14:06:12+01:00

sick

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Octobre 2025 à 02:06 PM

I am currently battling a common cold...it is not the worse but it's annoying. I am able to work out but not at the same intensity. I did my best today... considering that I have a runny nose, cough, headache and mild fatigue even though I slept for 10 hours. I tested for flu/covid/strep and they all came back negative thank God. So I don't have to worry about those things but I am still sick. I would not work out if I had a fever, chest pain and shortness of breath; I would just rest and wait until I am better but since this is just a common cold I can do certain activities. For the past 2 days I have been going to bed at 7pm because I felt sick... I have no energy in the afternoon which is why I work out in the morning.

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2025-10-28T13:58:10+01:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 28 Octobre 2025 à 01:58 PM

love when he:

says " be ready by ___ wear something nice, I'm picking you up"
show up to my house with flowers waiting in the car
kiss me gently on the lips upon seeing me.
hold my hand while he drives
smiles when he sees me
long hugssssss
let me play music or ask me if there's a song I want to play in the car
buys me matcha lattes when he's coming to see me :)))
run errands with me
drive me around because he knows I hate driving
shows up with chocolate and flowers when I am sad or sick
hugged me tightly
love cuddling
buys me plushies and stuff animals
wears my favorite color and sends me pictures
wears a tie that is the same color as my dress
take cute pictures with me for memories for our future kids to see young mom and dad
pauses after he kiss me to look into my eyes
let me borrow his hoodie to sleep in :))))) then ask me to give it back because he wants to smell me :)))))

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2025-10-27T14:10:18+01:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 27 Octobre 2025 à 02:10 PM

Outrageous things I've heard so far from men :

"don't lift too heavy I don't want you to get big biceps": first of all I am not a body builder and unless I eat like a mad man and trained like a mad woman there's no way my biceps would be bigger than his if he works out. I told him: You could at least ask me what my goal was before making suggestions. then he said " no I just don't want my woman to be super muscular" so I said well maybe I am not the woman for you, then I stopped talking to him lol. There's this misconception about woman becoming jacked up in the gym from lifting 10 lbs dumbbell that I always find absurd! there's no way for a woman with estrogen hormones to get huge biceps unless she trained her lats, biceps daily and eat like a mad man... I train my biceps once a week... bro I almost laughed in that guy's face because the ignorance was palpable.
another time I was talking to a guy and he ask me what i was doing because he heard a lot of noise so I told him I just got back from home depot now I am fixing something in my shower. he said" wow not you being the man of the house" I laughed and said " if not me then who" he said " nah I like my woman feminine seems like you're very hands on" again I said " well that's disappointing, I am sure what you're looking for is out there. I'll let you go find it" and I said " I'll call you back" then I never did lol. He did call but I never picked up. I am a very girly girl and he met me... the way he kept saying you like a lot of manly things like "football, F1, you lift weights" and it sounded like he wanted me to stop indulging in these things. One time I was on the phone with him while playing video games and he ask what are you doing that you're not paying attention to me I said I'm playing FIFA, he said no way so I facetime him and showed him! he was shocked but I couldn't tell if he was impressed or turned off...so I said maybe we can talk later and kept on playing lol. Mind you he's not paying for any of it, so I kindly remove myself from his life. I know a man out there is dying to meet a girl like me. The same way I will never try to change a man is the same way I wouldn't want a man to try to change me. I am fine the way I am, God created a masterpiece, sure I am not perfect and I am a work in progress but don't make me feel bad for the things I love. Each of my intrest makes me happier in a way, a man who truly love and care about me would want me to be happy doing the things that I love as long as they aren't harmful.

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2025-10-26T19:37:46+01:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Octobre 2025 à 07:37 PM

Real Madrid won against Barcelona! I am soooo happy!! It was a crazy match I could not look away. Mbappé had two offsides goals and one penalty not given to Madrid. Yes Mbappé missed a penalty for the first time this season but that happens and I am not mad besides I could never be mad at Mbappé anyways.

Madrid played beautifully! It was an amazing match. Madrid defended well I can see how xavi the coach is doing an amazing job with the team. Jude Bellingham scored again and Arda guler played well even if he caused the Barcelona goal but that’s okay. That game should’ve ended 4-1 not 2-1 but hey That’s another discussion for another time. Every time Madrid plays against Barcelona it’s a big deal and the referee always gives Madrid offsides and deny Madrid of a penalty… lamine yamal was talking trash yesterday against Madrid yet he did nothing for Barcelona today. Vini was upset when the coach took him off after halftime and I know the tabloids will have a field day with this tomorrow. And I get it because Vini was playing well why take him off?

Madrid is in top shape right now, I am soooo proud of my team. Everyone is working hard. I love this team and not only because Mbappé is there lol.

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2025-10-26T16:02:14+01:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Octobre 2025 à 04:02 PM

Madrid vs Barcelona

Who I think would win? Honestly I don’t know! I wish I could say Madrid without a second thought but both teams are hungry for more. After the last champions league game Madrid had on Wednesday I can’t say they’re ready but I hope I’m wrong. Yes they won their last game but it was a struggle. I know Mbappé is hungry for more and he’s not afraid of Barcelona at all. But I hope Vinicius and Jude Bellingham show up to win today because Mbappé can’t do it alone. I need a strong Valverde and I hope Arda güler starts the game on the right wing today. We should win this.

Hala Madrid the match is about to start we will go over the match after ;) I’m excited I can’t sit down I’m about to start doing jumping jacks soon lol I’m too excited! I’ve been waiting for this game for months now

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2025-10-24T14:46:28+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 24 Octobre 2025 à 02:46 PM

things I love when he:

when he sends me videos or pictures of himself after a gym session shirtless ughhhhhh especially when he sends it without me asking or expecting it.
when he says can I call you? or call me!
when he's towering over me and I look up at him
when he opens all the doors for me.
when he put his jacket on me and kiss my forehead
when he open his arms and I walk into it
when he kiss me with a candy and I take it from his mouth
when he bite my neck
when he kiss my handssss
when he cuddles me
when he gives me his hand to hold
when he grabs my tighhhh
when he bite my lip gently
when he fixes my hair
when he maintains eye contact....
when he hugs me from behind

These are all the things I love

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2025-10-22T16:12:23+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 22 Octobre 2025 à 04:12 PM

what's weird is that even though I love sleeping and you guys know this by now because I am always excited to take a nap lol but even if I slept for 2 hours the night before I will still wake up at 4:24 am for my morning work out! you would think I would be too tired to give it my best? not really I can do it in my sleep... I don't change my work outs a all because consistency is key. I do the same workout, eat the same meals.... Yeah it gets boring sometimes but I get better results that way. My body grew accustom to the fact that I work out early and I crash out earlier in the afternoon and I normally take a big fat nap and still go to bed at 9:30 pm! I normally sleep early but in some rare cases where I don't sleep early I am still able to wake up my regular hours. Maybe it's because I sleep so much already, any chance I get to take a nap best believe I will take that nap. well I reviewed my own lab work which is perks of working in healthcare and I already found out my iron is low. My doctor hasn't called me yet to confirm but that explains why I am always tired and ready for bed even at 4pm lol

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2025-10-21T21:39:08+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Octobre 2025 à 09:39 PM

Luteal phase is kicking my butt this week, my emotions are high and low... I am managing but thankfully I can still lift heavy. Some months I can't lift heavy and some months I can...It varies. But so far I am okay, I just feel extremely exhausted. I did fasted cardio today, which means I didn't eat anything before my workout. I don't ever do fasted cardio, I always eat before I workout but because I had to fast for my bloodwork I didn't eat but I was dying! I need food to fuel my work out. I don't know how people workout on a empty stomach! could never be me. I don't workout on a full stomach eithe but I need a protein snack or something.

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