Hey there,
Perhaps some of you are asking where I am and what I am doing... if not , I am not mad lol it's not always about me and maybe it never was. Maybe you coming here is not about me at all , maybe it's about you learning something that I have no control over. If you are asking about me know that I am asking about me to, I am wondering where I am. Where is my passion, where is that light I had in the beginning of this blog.
I am here imprisoned in my thoughts, failures, fears, weakness, flaws...I am drowning in my downfall. I want to make something out of it. I want to get up and accomplish something. I don't want to feel down anymore, I don't want to feel like I am weak anymore because I am not. I have gone through so many things that showed my stregnth. I have been alone, some people left me behind, some people didn't believe in me, some people didn't take me seriously but I got up and make something out of it all. I did not stay down, I wiped my tears away and did my makeup in the morning after a whole night crying. I didn't answer to that coworker who was rude to me and I got mad at myself for not standing up for myself for not telling that person that I am not one to be taken lighlty. I didn't do anything because I was tired of fighting I was tired of standing up for myself and that's when I knew that my light was gone. That day I knew that I had given up. I knew I was not the same and that some stuff was getting through me and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I felt like I am not connected to what matter most to me. I forgot how to be me because I am to busy chasing time. I got lost in the midst of trying to make everything perfect. I got lost in my failures forgetting all the blessings that I have. I forgot who I was because I failed at something. Maybe it was not the right time and maybe I needed to wait, who know?