No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2018-03-07T05:30:39+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Mars 2018 à 05:30 AM

In your eyes I could see how much you've changed,

I could see how much you were willing to hurt me just because you were hurting.

I tried to make excuses for you saying you are not acting like yourself,

saying you're going through a lot but I couldn't see how much you were changing.

You are no longer the same and I know that for sure.

You haven't been yourself for quite some times now.

You're saying that you start to change now but to me you haven't been yourself in a while.

I forgot who you are and your action is repetitive.

you say one thing but do another.

Voir les commentaires

2018-03-06T05:59:22+01:00

how can you?

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Mars 2018 à 05:59 AM

I wonder how can someone so nice, someone whom I trusted with my deepest secret would turn against me and act like everything is fine and that they are suppose to do it. How can someone I stood for would do something so cruel to me ? they can see that they only see what they did for me forgetting what we had... How I gave them my trust. I knew not to give my trust to anyone and to be honest I am not shocked but I just never expected that from you. You are an hypocrite that's what you are. You look at me say one thing and turn to the world and say another...making me look bad. But I don't care what they think of me. I don't care what anyone think of me. I know who I am, I know what I want and I will keep fighting for it. That determination will never die what you did only push me to do better and to be stronger so thank you.

Voir les commentaires

2018-03-06T05:51:40+01:00

full moon.

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Mars 2018 à 05:51 AM

Empty promises,

sad hellos, happiest goodbye.

I am realizing how much I want to leave you.

How much I hate this.

I don't even know if we're fighting or arguing.

What are we doing?

why are we staying in this and forcing it to work?

you making me do all the bad things and I still can't believe because you were suppose to be the good one.

How can you be so cruel when you appear so nice?

how are you so selfish when you calling me selfish?

making me doubt myself...

got me questioning every step I'm making all because you told me I will never make it.

If I wasn't this passionate about what I wanted you would've make me leave my dream behind and follow you.

You no longer have my heart, you no longer have my mind nor my full attention.

You are no longer part of my priorities.

I'm letting you go.

I've already let you go,

today on this full moon I know for sure that you no longer reside in my heart.

Voir les commentaires

2018-03-01T04:06:45+01:00

the fear of being alone.

Publié par Gaelle.R 1 Mars 2018 à 04:06 AM

hey there, My laptop is been acting up and i've only had it for about 2 years. I don't feel like buying a whole new different laptop right now maybe next month well today is the last day in this month but we'll see. If you don't see me just know my laptop is giving up on me. the fear of being alone? well to be honest being alone is not much of a problem for me because being alone doesn't make me feel lonely. Missing someone is worse. I think I work best alone and I am well aware of it. I think better when I'm alone. I need to be alone to make an important decision if there's too many people around me I'm going to feel tempted to let them help me make that decision and I know that I might regret it later. I am an introvert I like being alone and I don't mind it at all. About other people. I think some people love being surrounded by other people around them and when they are alone they feel sad almost as if having people around them boost their energy those are extrovert. some people hate being alone so much that they allow toxic people in their life without even realizing and those people use them. Honestly I don't see what's wrong with being alone but feeling lonely is different. when someone is feeling lonely it usually means that they want someone or something and usually they know what it is. Notice how when you start liking someone you suddenly start to feel lonely well it's because you want to be around that person and when you can't you just feel lonely.

Voir les commentaires

2018-02-23T17:51:04+01:00

so far...

Publié par Gaelle.R 23 Février 2018 à 05:51 PM

I have been busy lately working on some new things and still trying to find myself... aren't we all? I wonder what the world would be like if we already have ourselves all figured out. what else could we do? just live and live. I think It's exciting to find yourself and trying new things.

what do I wanna talk about?

The reason why I have been out lately is mainly because I didn't have any interesting topic to talk about and I would hate to come here and put some boring content. When I find myself sinking or drifting away I stay off this blog and social media. I think it's draining emotionally to always be active on social media. I promise myself that I am going to live life in the moment and let life be what it is instead of capturing it with a camera an posting it with a dumb caption that doesn't even describe what I feel. I wish I could have everyone that I love and care about always near me so I wouldn't have to text them or facetime them...I love direct connection with someone I don't like texting anymore. The reason why I don't like texting is because...

there's always mixed signals,
the person takes too long to reply, I don't get the answer right away or the way I want to hear it
I can't go back and forth with the person if the person takes too long to reply so I just move on to the next subject.
I don't want to change the subject but because we are going to spend hours on one question I rather stop talking about it.

whereas if I was talking to someone face to face there's face expression and faster response. I can actually go back and forth with the person not arguing but like a discussion. I used to love texting when I was younger because I was in middle school and no one had nothing to do back then so we just glued to our phones and text back quick. Now there's so much to do that I don't even bother texting some people especially if I have a crush on that person. It's too much and I just don't like texting that person but I like texting my friends don't matter how long I wait I can call them, double text without thinking but with your crush you're trying not to look desperate and being careful ruin the fun. I'm one to double text, call right away and facetime when I don't understand what you mean lol because for some reason I need to see your face to get what you mean.

Voir les commentaires

2018-02-20T05:33:59+01:00

My turn.

Publié par Gaelle.R 20 Février 2018 à 05:33 AM

Hello there,

I have been in the clouds lately and I have been thinking a lot... I was so focus on that special thing that I forgot about my surrounding. I hope that everything works out and that I get that special thing.

Let's get to it.

I think everyone is living life their own way and I have my own ways too. sometimes we may think we working in vain or that the process takes too long but the best things come to those who work hard not those who keeps procrastinate. I feel like I keep on working towards that same goal I had for ages but the thing is everything is happening at a slow pace. I am grateful that I am moving forward even if it's just for a little bit. I think that I just need to keep climbing and eventually I will get on top of the mountain. It may not be my turn right now but I know for sure my time will come, it always has. I am independent and I work to get what I want I don't like it when someone is giving me stuff I like to think that I work for it. some people did not think that I would be where I am today It's not my problem but I cannot help but think if they didn't see it coming and to be honest I didn't see it either imagine how many things are about to come in the future ! Last year around this time I was struggling in so many levels but this year I don't have those same struggles anymore. I am grateful that all those problems are behind me and I thank God for that. I am moving forward and you are too. Don't ever look back and dwell on the past, the only time you need to look back is to learn a lesson and to see how far you've come. Don't let other people intimidate you telling you that you're never going to make it. You will make it if you believe in it constantly and if you keep putting that work.

Never ever give up you hear me? no matter what keep fighting and believe in yourself.

I believe in you.

night night...

Voir les commentaires

2018-02-20T05:24:09+01:00

poetry

Publié par Gaelle.R 20 Février 2018 à 05:24 AM

To me poetry is something so deep, it is suppose to make me feel and I don't mind if I look vulnerable because naturally I love being in control but writing poetry make me lose all control. It's just me and my feelings or whatever I am going through at the moment. Poetry is not always about love to me and I've started writing it at a very young age it wasn't always about love but when I did write about love for the very first time I don't think I knew what it was.

Now when I am writing about love it comes from a deep place, one that I don't mind sharing with whoever wants to hear.Love is a beautiful thing and I am happy that I found love and have enough to give in return...

Voir les commentaires

2018-02-16T05:35:03+01:00

LOVE.

Publié par Gaelle.R 16 Février 2018 à 05:35 AM

we shared something so deep,

when I look into your eyes I swear I could see the stars.

You are the one I live for,

the reason I am breathing here today.

You say I'm all yours but would you live for me If I die?

I've never been here before.

I've never felt that way.

I am scared.

I am thinking about giving it all.

But I didn't know it would hurt this bad.

Never knew this pain would break me.

All these times when I should be jumping with joy I am sad thinking about how much power you have over me.

I never knew it would kill me to see you have all of me.

If I lose you i'm afraid that I would lose myself.

Voir les commentaires

2018-02-06T02:22:02+01:00

validation.

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Février 2018 à 02:22 AM

Hey there,

I think I love the weather today it's not too cold and I love it. I just realize that I only like winter during the month of December after that I don't really care. I like summer better. I used to love winter and the snow but now I'm over it.

Let's get to it...

Have you ever bought something for the first time and you like what you bought i'm assuming that's why you bought it, but then you see your friends and you ask them what they think and if they like it but they said no it looks hideous. Now you look at yourself in the mirror wondering how in the world could you possibly love something so ugly? But what you don't think about is how excited you were when you bought it because you loved it then but now you suddenly hate it cause your friends find it hideous. why did you change your mind? Now I know how upsetting it is if someone doesn't like your style or what you like but there is no need for you to change your style just to accommodate theirs. You are unique on your own way and it is okay to love something your friends hate because we don't need to have the same interest on everything. Why do we need this constant urge to be love by other people when we can literally love ourselves. No one can ever love you the way you love yourself, no one can take care of you better than the way you take care of yourself. You know yourself believe it or not you know enough about yourself to know what you like and by knowing what you like you can find out what you don't like. You know what you can tolerate and you know what you cannot bare. So why leave yourself at the feet of someone else to love you. You know exactly what I am talking about, you want to be love so much that you allow yourself to be in relationship you don't even want to be in only because you don't want to end up alone. What's wrong with being alone? aren't you enough? you should love your company more before you seek others. Being by yourself will only help you find out more about yourself and about what you need to know before you let someone else in. Don't always rush to let someone in only to realize that you would rather be alone. Put that in your mind that you are fine the way you are and you don't need anyone to tell you that. You are uniquely beautiful and you shouldn't let anyone else tells you different. I love all of you for supporting me and the least I could do is to let you know how amazing you are. Sometimes I wish someone else had a blog like me out there so I could read these things to myself. It's all about self love and it has nothing to do with being conceited.

we focus so much on other people and on what they have to say about us that we even forget about ourselves in the process. when was the last time you last checked in with yourself and I am not talking about doing your makeup in front of the mirror because you were trying to look "appealing" nothing wrong with that I use my concealer and my mascara from time to time and I have nothing against make up I think it's art. But checking in with yourself is not doing your make up but rather sitting by yourself and being on your own presence taking a deep breath and feeling everything on your body. Feeling the lashes on your eyes, the hairs on your eyebrows and feeling your nose...realizing YOU, feeling YOU. I realize that i've never done that and since I've started doing it recently I start to feel more calm.

Voir les commentaires

2018-02-04T04:55:11+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Février 2018 à 04:55 AM

I want to be the one next to you as the sun comes and you open up your eyes to a new day,

I want to be the first person you call when something goes right and I want to be the only one you call when things are bad.

I want to be a shield all over you so nothing bad would happen to you.

Voir les commentaires