No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2017-12-12T05:52:28+01:00

Unrequited love.

Publié par Gaelle.R 12 Décembre 2017 à 05:52 AM

I gave it my all.

I stayed when there was nothing left.

I made myself imagine all of the wonderful things that you weren't.

I made myself believe that you were good for me.

Moving on was never an option.

The presence above had pity on me and slowly I started letting you go.

It was unbelievable because you were so close and I wanted to move away from you.

You stared into my eyes and my heart would no longer beat faster.

Mesmerized I started to think something was wrong.

The things you would say to me would no longer keep me awake at night.

I would sleep like a newborn without dreaming of you.

I would wake up and eat without wondering about you and if you ate already.

I simply did not care anymore.

It all happened so fast that I could not believe it.

I would ask myself how did I get to this point and I wouldn't know.

I simply feel free. Once again. Without you.

Do I miss you ?

No and never again will I ever miss you.

You've lost a good one with your stupidity.

Acting like you did not care to show your friends that I was the one chasing you.

I could never chase you because deep down I knew you weren't worth the run. so I would walk.

You would act like I loved you and that you weren't in love with me.

what you did not understand is that I never fell in love with you.

I was stuck loving the idea of you. A better you. The you that You will never be.

saying you're a savage when you feel lonely as hell and you wish you had someone by your side.

moving slowly I started thinking and I would see how dumb I must be to be waiting around for you.

I am not that same girl anymore.

I felt like a fool but no more.

I told you how I felt and this is how I knew I had to let you go because you had nothing to say to me.

I don't give too many chances when my heart is on the line.

I stayed but now I'm gone.

ciao~

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2017-12-09T23:27:29+01:00

why

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Décembre 2017 à 11:27 PM

why can I be who I want to be all on my own?

why do I need you so much ?

why do I mess up so much ?

Is it me or is it you ?

why did you let me go back when we were both young and innocent?

what happened? and why do I feel like I can't do it anymore?

why am I shivering when it's not even cold.

why the year pass by so quick?

where are we going?

why do I feel like we're in a race with the time?

why am I so scared to lose you when you've let me down so much?

why do you look like an angel in my eyes when I know about all the bad things you've done.

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2017-12-09T17:36:01+01:00

just getting started

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Décembre 2017 à 05:36 PM

hey there,

I realize something which is in order for me to get started on anything intellectually like my homework or studying I need to start by writing something here or in my journal it's like an appetizer for my brain. I love to get a warm up before anything that I am doing maybe it is a form of procrastinating but who cares we all have our own ways and this is mine. I love to do pre-work out session before I get into the hard part it's good because I won't feel too sore.

It's almost Christmas which means that it is almost my birthday now I am down to the last weeks of being 20 years old. You all have seen when I first started this blog , I was 17 and I was still in high school. Now I am 20 and I am in college. You all have watched me grow and perhaps seen the change in me I am glad to be here and to be able to grow with this blog. I hope that I've helped someone with my ideas, opinions, advice and stories. I may not be the right person to tell you exactly what to do all I can give you is an advice or share my opinions I am not allow to guide your life and I shouldn't be.

I have come a long way with this blog, when I first had it I was speaking English for about a year. My English wasn't great but I would still write and I wasn't afraid to make mistake because I knew that's how I would be able to learn. My school teacher would read my short stories although they had many errors but you could still see what I was talking about and she would felicitate me and her genuine compliment would make me keep on going. It's because of my ELL teacher that I believe that I could be a writer. She taught me how to speak English properly and she believed in me I am so happy that I met a soul like her. She was the nicest and the sweetest.

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2017-12-07T06:36:18+01:00

what is happening.

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Décembre 2017 à 06:36 AM

hey there,

It's been a while and I feel like I've let some of you down but truly I haven't I've been really busy and a lot of things are currently happening. Life moves so fast I mean" time" that's what I mean when I say life...I see life as time. It goes by so quick you can barely catch it. I am so busy that I barely write, I do write because that's what I like and it's a huge part of my life but at the same time I feel like I don't take time to write like before. I used to write out of my misery not that I am no longer sad but I am happier than I ever been even though I get sad but it's not that deep anymore and when I do I try to resolve the problem instead of overthinking and writing until my tears drown the ink on the paper...I feel like we grow better when we face our problems and see what needs to be done. Instead of sitting and crying think about ways that you can make your situation better. Now I hate hearing excuses from people as much as I hate to come up with excuses on my own to justify my action I hate when people are coming up with excuses on their own to explain what they've done. I realize that it is okay to make mistakes the best thing you can do is accept that you did something wrong and learn from it. I wasn't born to be perfect or normal and I don't think I can never be one of this things, besides my wandering mind would never allow it. I am no longer the same and I feel like each day that goes by I become someone new. Hopefully I get to a better me because I don't think that this is the best that I can be there is more steps to take, more decisions to make and more life to live. My birthday is arriving and I am so excited to turn 21 I am finally growing up and I love who I am becoming and I hope to get to a better me.

A lot of things have changed. I still have the same passion for writing that would never change but my mindset have changed and some of the things that I've stayed away from doesn't seem to be a threat to me anymore if anything they helped me grow. It's midnight and I am suppose to be going to bed soon but I got way too much to do. what's sleep ? I don't know what it is...

have a great day,

love y'all.

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2017-11-28T01:27:04+01:00

The wind blows harder in the south.

Publié par Gaelle.R 28 Novembre 2017 à 01:27 AM

I always feel like I should fight instead of giving up but sometimes fighting seems unnecessary.

I don't want it to end.

I wish it could last forever but you don't want it to.

You make it so hard for me to stay.

I wanted you to understand but it feels like you hate to hear me talking.

I'll keep quiet if you want me to but just know the storm will soon arrive and I won't hold it in.

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2017-11-13T23:24:23+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 13 Novembre 2017 à 11:24 PM

Blue sky,

perfect smiles.

tender lips.

Loveliest eyes that could make me forget all my troubles.

soft hands that would make me stop breathing.

Together we would reach for the stars.

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2017-11-04T05:34:54+01:00

what i don't like.

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Novembre 2017 à 05:34 AM

Hey there.

I am sure that I've already talked about what I don't like very often here not that I don't like many things but knowing what don't like kinda help me found out what I like. Sometimes the negative side of things can bring out the positive side.

Well to be honest this is not specifically for one somebody I just don't like the things that I am going to mention in general.

manipulative people: sadly they are not so easy to spot right off the bat. They may seemed nice, respectable and even sympathetic but it's just a facade they are not so nice. They don't really care about you most of them are selfish creatures. They can trick into thinking that you are the problem they can make you feel as if they never done anything wrong.It is not easy to figure it out because they can become so good at it that you may think that you are going insane and that you must be the problem. These people can drain all your energy, use you and act as if nothing happen. Manipulative relationship can mess up someone's perspective of others. I guarantee you that If you've been in a manipulative relationship you will never think that some people can be genuine once you've figure out how fake, shallow and selfish some people are because of that one experience you had. Those people can deceive you and make you lose trust in yourself and other people. I hope you can identify them. Although I am talking about them I still can't see them for who they are sometimes because they just so good at hiding.
Another thing I hate is people who make you feel bad about yourself because they are not able to do what you're doing, look like you or be like you. Most of the time those people want to be like you but they don't want you to know that. They cannot be happy for you because they don't know how so they try to make you lose your confidence. You don't have to give in you can keep fighting because once you've lost that part of yourself it might be hard to get it back.
One more thing I absolutely dread is people who take me for granted. I am a nice person and I am not bragging but sometimes some people try to use that against me by thinking they can make me do things for them even though I said I am not able to. they even try to make me feel bad for them only to trick me. I don't like these people and now I can spot them easily. They only talk to you when they need something from you they always make you feel like you need to help them because you are the only one who can. You're not the only one, there are other people who can help them and they do have other options. If you said NO then that's it you don't even need to explain yourself. STOP letting other people use you and I say the same thing to myself. Over the years I got tougher because I took a few hit... It's been real yet other people still want to try me (lol)
people who think that it is okay to take me lightly because I am small or nice...whatever it is. I don't like it. I don't like when other people make me feel small...

It's kind of late, my thoughts are a bit cloudy but I'm glad I could express myself and let some things out.

night night.

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2017-10-30T17:55:43+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Octobre 2017 à 05:55 PM

How are things?

I feel like I've been asked that question a lot lately simply because I am doing my thing and some people just want to know how it's going. I don't mind answering but I would rather give an honest answer whatever it is, It can't be that bad because I am still living...

sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and keep going even though you don't see you're going to make it. I am all about taking risks. Before I used to be sacred because I didn't really like going out of my comfort zone to do things I was so used to the usual that a slight change would be an inconvenience. Not anymore I actually try to make an effort and try new things and I think that's the best thing because of all these new experiences. I am busy at this moment I have so many things that I am working on that I don't have time for anything.

Some of you have been asking me for relationships advice... Sorry I never wrote anything about it anymore. I'm just not focused on talking about it right now. I've talked about it so much here...just look at my previous pages from a while back. I will come back and talk about relationships and stuff but right now I am working on much bigger things....stay tune.

Have a nice day y'all.

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2017-10-28T06:19:51+02:00

Hey there.

Publié par Gaelle.R 28 Octobre 2017 à 06:19 AM

how's life ?

I think I'm living LOL. I mean I am here somewhere...

It's midnight and I have been studying all day for an exam tomorrow. I don't like studying the day before but I guess I kinda did it all today. I am so stressed that I barely feel tired. I feel hungry though!

man I gotta go.

be back soon. have a good night.

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2017-10-24T04:53:50+02:00

crashing.

Publié par Gaelle.R 24 Octobre 2017 à 04:53 AM

I'm a mess and you don't need this right now.

I am confuse but you need to be focus.

I am bad but you need to be good.

I am a distraction and you're going for the finish line.

I don't want want to bring you down.

I want you to be the best that you can be.

I don't want you to try I know you can do it.

I don't want us to fight.

I want to be near you because this mess loves you endlessly.

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