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2018-04-03T20:36:11+02:00
Life changes quite a lot and sometimes I feel like too many things happen at once but I am happy that I have something to worry about, something to live for and something to fight for. I don't wanna be living just because I want to live for a reason. I don't like it the hard way but I feel like a hard life is what I always seem to get maybe there is a reason for it but for now I'm just trying to figure out which problem to fix first.
2018-03-22T02:51:50+01:00
Don't come back for me after you left me.
Don't ask about me if you let me get away.
Don't say I miss you when all this time you could've had me but you did nothing.
Don't say that I am treating you like a stranger because all those years I've known you but you never let me in.
Don't ask me about my life now because you don't get to talk to me anymore.
Don't follow my social media because all these times you had it you never liked one of my post.
Don't talk about me expecting an answer from me because you will never hear anything from me again.
Don't act like you know me because you have no idea who I am now.
Don't say that I didn't warn you because I gave you a chance but you simply chose to let it pass.
I'm not one to be put on pause.
I am one time in a lifetime.
I am the first breath you take in the morning not the last.
I am the one you never thought I was simply because you were blinded.
I know this from the way you look at me and the way you watch me leave knowing I am never coming back.
It's done. It's over.
2018-03-22T02:32:51+01:00
hello there,
It's been a while but I am still here. I am still living and I won't leave this blog like ever ! lol I promise.
2018-03-16T04:37:00+01:00
Things are taking a different turn...I did not expect things to change so drastically. I feel like one day my life is a way and the next day it's just completely different. I used to hate change and In the past I used to avoid situations where I had to change things about myself or the way I live, now I don't think there's any room to choose. Things just sort of happen and sometimes I do wish I was dreaming simply because I feel like I am not quite ready yet. I guess someone never know what they are ready for until they are being put in the situation.
Maybe some of you don't know what I am talking about and it's okay...I don't like making announcements I guess what need to be said will come out at the right time. Right now I am just confused, trying to be brave, trying to keep my head held high, trying not to give up when rejections come my way, I am mad oh yes I am...I am more mad at this situation but I know it's not the worse situation I've ever been in. I have been through so much in such little time that it is crazy. I am learning more and more each day that goes by. It's hard to live a life where things are not certain, when things change any minute, when you can't even bring yourself to look at tomorrow when you have to worry about today. I don't have any problem with the future and sometimes I even think that It's very promising.
2018-03-07T05:30:39+01:00
In your eyes I could see how much you've changed,
I could see how much you were willing to hurt me just because you were hurting.
I tried to make excuses for you saying you are not acting like yourself,
saying you're going through a lot but I couldn't see how much you were changing.
You are no longer the same and I know that for sure.
You haven't been yourself for quite some times now.
You're saying that you start to change now but to me you haven't been yourself in a while.
I forgot who you are and your action is repetitive.
you say one thing but do another.
2018-03-06T05:59:22+01:00
I wonder how can someone so nice, someone whom I trusted with my deepest secret would turn against me and act like everything is fine and that they are suppose to do it. How can someone I stood for would do something so cruel to me ? they can see that they only see what they did for me forgetting what we had... How I gave them my trust. I knew not to give my trust to anyone and to be honest I am not shocked but I just never expected that from you. You are an hypocrite that's what you are. You look at me say one thing and turn to the world and say another...making me look bad. But I don't care what they think of me. I don't care what anyone think of me. I know who I am, I know what I want and I will keep fighting for it. That determination will never die what you did only push me to do better and to be stronger so thank you.
2018-03-06T05:51:40+01:00
Empty promises,
sad hellos, happiest goodbye.
I am realizing how much I want to leave you.
How much I hate this.
I don't even know if we're fighting or arguing.
What are we doing?
why are we staying in this and forcing it to work?
you making me do all the bad things and I still can't believe because you were suppose to be the good one.
How can you be so cruel when you appear so nice?
how are you so selfish when you calling me selfish?
making me doubt myself...
got me questioning every step I'm making all because you told me I will never make it.
If I wasn't this passionate about what I wanted you would've make me leave my dream behind and follow you.
You no longer have my heart, you no longer have my mind nor my full attention.
You are no longer part of my priorities.
I'm letting you go.
I've already let you go,
today on this full moon I know for sure that you no longer reside in my heart.
2018-03-01T04:06:45+01:00
2018-02-23T17:51:04+01:00
I have been busy lately working on some new things and still trying to find myself... aren't we all? I wonder what the world would be like if we already have ourselves all figured out. what else could we do? just live and live. I think It's exciting to find yourself and trying new things.
what do I wanna talk about?
The reason why I have been out lately is mainly because I didn't have any interesting topic to talk about and I would hate to come here and put some boring content. When I find myself sinking or drifting away I stay off this blog and social media. I think it's draining emotionally to always be active on social media. I promise myself that I am going to live life in the moment and let life be what it is instead of capturing it with a camera an posting it with a dumb caption that doesn't even describe what I feel. I wish I could have everyone that I love and care about always near me so I wouldn't have to text them or facetime them...I love direct connection with someone I don't like texting anymore. The reason why I don't like texting is because...
whereas if I was talking to someone face to face there's face expression and faster response. I can actually go back and forth with the person not arguing but like a discussion. I used to love texting when I was younger because I was in middle school and no one had nothing to do back then so we just glued to our phones and text back quick. Now there's so much to do that I don't even bother texting some people especially if I have a crush on that person. It's too much and I just don't like texting that person but I like texting my friends don't matter how long I wait I can call them, double text without thinking but with your crush you're trying not to look desperate and being careful ruin the fun. I'm one to double text, call right away and facetime when I don't understand what you mean lol because for some reason I need to see your face to get what you mean.
2018-02-20T05:33:59+01:00
Hello there,
I have been in the clouds lately and I have been thinking a lot... I was so focus on that special thing that I forgot about my surrounding. I hope that everything works out and that I get that special thing.
Let's get to it.
I think everyone is living life their own way and I have my own ways too. sometimes we may think we working in vain or that the process takes too long but the best things come to those who work hard not those who keeps procrastinate. I feel like I keep on working towards that same goal I had for ages but the thing is everything is happening at a slow pace. I am grateful that I am moving forward even if it's just for a little bit. I think that I just need to keep climbing and eventually I will get on top of the mountain. It may not be my turn right now but I know for sure my time will come, it always has. I am independent and I work to get what I want I don't like it when someone is giving me stuff I like to think that I work for it. some people did not think that I would be where I am today It's not my problem but I cannot help but think if they didn't see it coming and to be honest I didn't see it either imagine how many things are about to come in the future ! Last year around this time I was struggling in so many levels but this year I don't have those same struggles anymore. I am grateful that all those problems are behind me and I thank God for that. I am moving forward and you are too. Don't ever look back and dwell on the past, the only time you need to look back is to learn a lesson and to see how far you've come. Don't let other people intimidate you telling you that you're never going to make it. You will make it if you believe in it constantly and if you keep putting that work.
Never ever give up you hear me? no matter what keep fighting and believe in yourself.
I believe in you.
night night...
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