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2019-01-31T04:16:28+01:00
In just a minute you were gone.
Not giving me enough time to ask why?
I want to know why you had to leave me so quick.
Why couldn't you stay, why so soon?
you took a piece of me with you.
I'll never be the same without you.
I am forerver missing a part of me.
Your absence took a toll on me that nothing else has.
I've never been out of words,
my mind had never been so empty.
...
2018-12-12T08:44:13+01:00
Unpredicted Offer
I wish it wasn’t true.
I was willing to give it all up.
I was willing to stay and listen.
Here I am learning that you found something else.
I don’t think it’s better than what I was offering.
Is it true?
Are you willing to take it ?
Are you forgetting what could’ve happen if you didn’t accept that offer?
What if you took mine instead, would you take that chance?
Excuse me we’ve never even talked about it.
Have you at least think about it?
I thought about it so much that little by little I started to make it my reality.
It mattered to me.
Doesn’t matter now that I feel like an idiot because you gave it up.
It hurts.
I wish it didn’t.
I wish you could tell me that it’s a lie.
I’m afraid of what I might find.
So I’m going to leave it here
Tonight.
We not going to talk about it again.
2018-12-07T05:55:06+01:00
Bad day, lonely night.
You’re not you when you’re feeling this way.
You’re not you when you’re hiding away from everyone.
You’re not you when you’re crying without knowing why.
You’re not you when you’re sad and stay silent.
You change each time your world is breaking apart.
You change each time you cry yourself to sleep.
You change each time you decide to stay silent when you could’ve talk.
You change each time you stop believing in yourself.
You’re not you when you’re apologizing for everything.
You change so much that you don’t remember who you are anymore.
Those thoughts.
Sleepless nights.
Feeling worthless from time to time.
Feeling pain but don’t know how bad from a scale from 1 to 10.
Hurting but don’t know exactly where or what is hurting.
Wishing you could feel pain.
Wishing you could feel what’s making you cry so much.
2018-12-06T06:59:25+01:00
Hey there,
I’ve been posting on a daily now. Constant product from my imagination coming in and some of them for a while ago. I wasn’t ready to share. Now I’m more comfortable with my style of writing. I’m more direct than before I think. I’m maturing I guess. I told y’all might not be ready for some of my stuff (lol). Now I know what I want to do and I have an idea of what image I want to provide when I’m working on something. Some of my stuff may not make sense to some of you maybe it’s because you don’t know me well.
Thank you for reading.
2018-12-06T06:53:32+01:00
Nostalgia.
Dragging through life,
I don’t want to admit that your absence is the reason why I’m sad.
I do miss you a little.
I try to stay strong.
I know I won’t be seeing your pretty face and your strong body anytime soon.
I know you’re gone.
I accept that you are not here.
I know it’s worth it that you’re gone simply because you are following your dream but I can’t help but miss seeing you.
My eyes have gotten so used to seeing you that I don’t know what they will do now that you’re gone.
The idea of you remain unanswered.
2018-12-04T06:02:05+01:00
Hope you know that I’m right here.
Hope you know that I got a shoulder for you to cry on.
Hope you know that I’m not leaving you behind.
I will wait for for you right by the door for when you want to leave.
I will call you daily to make sure you’re okay.
I will stay by your side until you’re strong enough to stand on your own.
If you have to go I will let you.
If you have to cry I have a spare tissue in my purse for you.
If you have to run know that I got my running shoes ready,don’t mind my heels.
If you have to disappear know that I’m not scared of the dark and I will hide with you.
We don’t have to do this.
We don’t have to pretend.
We don’t have to act like we’re in love.
You need me and I need you.
We don’t have to answer to nobody’s question.
We don’t have to talk about it.
Just hold me.
I won’t let go.
Just kiss me, I won’t tell.
Don’t worry about how we’re going to get out of here.
There’s no expectation.
I am not waiting for you to come and rescue me.
I am not waiting for you to call me.
I’m not waiting for you to tell me that you need me, because I know.
I know you need me by your side.
I know when you hear my voice you get peaceful.
I know when you see me your smile gets brighter.
I know when you hear me coming you act different.
I know that you wish that it could be more.
We’re not going to talk about it.
Not tonight.
Not tomorrow morning.
Hold my hand while you’re driving.
You’re Smiling back at me.
Memories.
You tell me about your past.
I tell you what I want my future to look like.
You tell me about your night.
I tell you how my morning went.
You tell me about what you want.
I tell you about what I need.
Beautiful eyes staring back at me.
No expectation.
Don’t make a wish, it’s just play pretend.
2018-12-04T05:43:13+01:00
When I see your face I get so giddy.
When I see you smiling back at me it’s like Christmas came early.
Late night talks.
Good morning text.
Smiling because you’re on my mind.
Happy because you’re finally mine.
Walking in circles because you’re on your way back to me.
What should I tell you first?
That I had on you on my mind the whole time you were gone?
Or that you make me happy?
Either way once you get here I won’t find the words to say to you.
I won’t know how to create a sentence.
I will stop walking and stare at you senseless.
What would I do without you?
Wake up it’s a dream.
2018-12-03T20:42:14+01:00
Modern love
You’re at the other end of the line.
I won’t bother text you.
I won’t call you.
I won’t like your post.
I won’t say anything to you as you didn’t say anything to me.
Waiting until you would text me.
Waiting until you call me.
Waiting until you like my post and watch my story.
You wouldn’t say anything.
I would lose hope.
But you would pop up out of nowhere and say “hey”.
I wanted to say why you didn’t talk to me before, why you don’t make plans yo see me.
But all I say back is “hi”
I don’t ask how you are.
I don’t ask what happened.
I left that for another day.
I didn’t want to waste time asking why you want to talk to me now because time is precious and you take an eternity to reply.
You don’t know how I’m feeling.
I don’t know how you’re feeling.
We’re too afraid to get personal.
We’re too afraid to get attached.
We’re too afraid to say how we’re doing.
Little did we know we felt the same way.
2018-12-01T05:47:52+01:00
Read text messages.
Unfollowed plans.
Jugements.
Why wasn’t she there ?
Does she even care?
Doesn’t she want to see us anymore?
You don’t understand.
You probably still not get it after this.
It’s not easy.
Life is not as sweet as I thought.
I’m learning.
I’m scared.
I want to scream.
They think I’m avoiding them.
I want to be there.
I can’t.
It’s hard.
I want to see you.
I want to talk to you.
It’s hard.
I think you cute, but I don’t talk to you.
I want to say hi but I feel shy and I’m not even shy.
I want to have a whole conversation with you but I don’t know what to say.
I want to hang out with all of you.
But it’s hard.
You don’t ask me what’s wrong.
You don’t ask how I’m doing.
You don’t know.
I feel like you don’t care and you probably think I don’t care too.
I wanted to come.
I couldn’t.
It was hard for me to be honest about my situation.
I wanted to tell you that it’s not what it seems.
I wish we could talk.
I wish you weren’t so quick to judge me without talking to me.
2018-11-21T16:30:12+01:00
Morning !
It’s almost thanksgiving and it needs to hurry up because I’m hungry. I am happy that it’s that time of the year again not because my birthday is near but because I love my family and I love being with them. This year I won’t be with them even though I love them but it’s more complicated than that. I will spend it with my very close friend whom I love and thankful for each day. She’s amazing guys and y’all would love to have a friend like that. But she’s mine. (LOL)
I admit thanksgiving is the time to be happy and thankful for family and life in general but we all feel under the weather from time to time. I know sometimes we may feel as if we’re not enough, not like able to certain people, not fast enough, not beautiful enough... forget all that. I am here to tell you that you are not alone I do feel like that sometimes. What I do? I pray, I listen to music so loud that I cannot hear those voices. We are not perfect and we were all made with a flaw and that’s okay. You don’t have to be a size 2, tall, light skin, dark skin, skinny, curvy, slim thick you could just be YOU. Learn to appreciate more things about yourself . what you love about yourself can anything it can be your voice, style, face, eyes, nose, skin color, nails or whatever it is love it enough that no one can make you feel bad about it. If it’s your face then you know you’re beautiful which I believe we are all beautiful in our own ways but if you know you’re beautiful would you let someone make you think you’re ugly? Hell no ! You know what you working with. Like me I know I’m small would I let someone make me think Any different? Hell no because I know I’m not. Just like you know you’re not what they say don’t let them make you believe the opposite. Be proud of who you are. Don’t give anyone the power to tear you down. Sadly I’ve been down that road and it took me a while to get back up and regain control of what I chose to believe. I don’t like being around negative vibes and you shouldn’t either. Avoid gossip situation, confrontation but don’t dismiss it you should ALWAYS stand up for yourself don’t let anyone do you wrong without letting them know it’s not okay and that you simply you won’t take it (you’re not a doormat) regain control. Believe in yourself be your own cheerleader. Cheer for your own success. Forget what others think of you. Do what you think is best for you and do it with you head held high. You’re beautiful inside and out believe it enough...
Have a good day guys.
Love you all.
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