I wrote this in 2022 and nothing has changed.
How to be friends with an INFJ.
As an INFJ myself I feel compelled to talk about this topic because I have had too many failed friendships. I am going to help you with someone you know who is an INFJ. They are quite rare but if you really pay attention you can spot them easily. Here are some tips for figuring out if your friend or family member is an INFJ. -
[ ] Infjs are true introverts which means they enjoy their alone time. You may find them canceling plans to stay home or bailing out at the last minute just because “something came up” which most of the time is nothing, they just feel drained and would rather stay home.
- [ ] They love talking about the deep subjects and they are often fascinated by human behavior and why people act the way they act.
- [ ] They hate small talk and any conversations that are shallow. They will not talk about the weather unless something meaningful happens.
- [ ] They are social chameleons. Although they are true introverts but you may find yourself wondering if they are ambiverts because they are able to act like an extrovert and be so outgoing that they will look like extroverts.
- [ ] They suddenly vanish. They might socialize a lot for a certain period of time and go missing for months and weeks at a time. -
[ ] They are charismatic. They have a certain charm about them that is unique making everyone feel welcome with their kind nature.
- [ ] They love to help other people. Infjs often always lend a helping hand whenever they can. Now that I’ve given you the nitty-gritty of an INFJ let’s discuss how to be friends with them. As an INFJ I can testify that it is hard to keep friends around but it’s not impossible.
1. Be patient with them, they may take a while to open up or to even trust you. You might even feel Like they are holding back but don’t take it personal they are just observing you to see if you can be trusted.
2. Give them space. INFJ will vanish at some point during the friendship but understand that they need some time alone to recharge and that it has nothing to do with you or anything that you’ve done. It can be frustrating to see a friend that you thought you had distanced themselves from you after they’ve been kind to you. Usually, when an infj takes a break from all social interactions they are taking some time to self-reflect or solve an underlying issue. They might ignore your call, or text and not show up to meet you because they need alone time. They will come out soon just be patient and know that they care about you.
3. Don’t betray them. When you betray or hurt an INFJ it may take a long time for them to let you in their world again and they might never do. They take betrayal to the heart because they are very loyal. Just Don’t get on their bad side.
Infjs are very insightful people and they often absorb other people's emotions without meaning to which is why they need alone time to detox. But when they keep vanishing they might lose many friends but the people who truly love them will stay. If you are patient with them you will discover a very loyal friend, reliable kind, and lovable human being. It will take some time for you to get past their cold exterior but you may be surprised to discover how amazing and rare they are
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