No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2016-10-03T04:22:47+02:00

Got my mind on things...

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Octobre 2016 à 04:22 AM

I just had a thought and i was like should i leave it here? i am still debating on how i am going to say it in my mind...well it is about technology and seriously i am tired of how i am hooked with some types of social media. I hate it that i have to check my phone every 5 minutes or less it's annoying. I didn't know how annoying it was until i had to be focused for a while you can guess i couldn't stay focused on that one important thing i was surely checking my phone every few minutes. sometimes i just want to log out in all of my accounts and just live my life without all the things that i see daily on my phone. It is depressing that i can't hang out with my friends without checking my phone, taking pics ugh... i hate it so much and yet i do that all the time. I love memories but i have so many childhood memories that did not involved smartphones or any type of social media. I wish i could live without my cellphone, i am learning to live without it but i fail every time... i use my phone constantly...i just hate that i have to check it. I don't know about what y'all think about the whole world of social media but me i stay neutral but deep down i want to quit every social media that i own for a while. No worries i will not abandoned this blog too. I have to try it for at least a month so i can see how my life is because right now i am going on full speed and i do not like it one bit. I want to spend at least a week without taking a selfie or post anything on social media i am just tired of it all. I just want to live my life without capturing it every few minutes... it was cool for a while when i first got the hang of it but now i am an expert and i use it way too much. I am thinking when i have my own relationship i will not post about it. I already knew that i wouldn't i just hate it...we can take pictures but don't expect me to post them and i will not expect him to post anything about our relationship. I don't say that i will never have a relationship i will because dying alone without finding love sucks...just not right now. I have a few things to figure out on my own first. I don't know when i'll be ready but it is not never. Seriously though i hate social media now. I wish i wasn't so addicted but the sad truth is i am and i am trying to go back to the way my life was before all this. My life was so much better and real. I could speak to someone in person and just be in the moment without having my head down instead of paying attention to the conversation. I have to go back to that life because i need to be focused and y'all need to pay more attention to your own life instead of other people. More stuff will happen actually the real stuff not the picture perfect.

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2016-10-01T14:13:36+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 1 Octobre 2016 à 02:13 PM

Take a part of me with you

don't leave me here all alone in the rain with the cold as company

i need you to stay

show me everything in your secret box.

when i see the sun rise

i think of you

bright

beautiful yet so far

i can never get close

what i see is what i think of you

why don't you make me see what i don't think of you?

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2016-09-29T16:30:10+02:00

music

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Septembre 2016 à 04:30 PM

do you listen to music ? i mean not hear really listening to it to a point where it changes your mood... I listen to music so much i think i might be addicted but i'm glad that i'm only addicted to music and not other substances that could be life threaten. But being a music addict is annoying at times.You lose focus sometimes but most of the times i gain focus it can be for the worse or for the best ...if i'm listening to a productive music then i will be.You can't really know what to listen to when there so many songs. I am always listening to something and they all motivate me to do something good or bad. I think music can give you self confidence, when you listen to rap it's all about getting money...party, dancing whatever that can trigger your mood and make you dance or move around like crazy...i listen to everything except country. If a popular song come out i will definitely hear it at some point. Music is fun until you break up with someone or got tired of it all. Those things never happen to me so music is still the fun part in my life and i am glad that i can rely on that. If it was not for music i don't know where i would be today. It just makes me wanna keep going. The thing about music is that it makes you wanna be like someone else. I love to really listen to the lyrics

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2016-09-28T04:00:42+02:00

Eyes don't lie.

Publié par Gaelle.R 28 Septembre 2016 à 04:00 AM

Based on what you've seen so far on this planet we called earth what would you say if you were an alien? I have never asked myself that question until my English professor ask me that question this morning.. Honestly i did not know what to say but i answer i came to understanding that humankind often hide who they really are. I did not say it like that word for word but he understand what i said somehow... I cannot express myself through speaking... I just can't and i envy you if you can. Speaking in a clear way is not something i was good at even though i speak other languages but i feel like i express myself better when i write. Sometimes i would say something meaningful that sound great in my hear but other people be like what? I am sorry actually nope i ain't sorry...we all have something we are not good at and i am not about to sit here and apologize for something i cannot control. I surely can try to be better with my speech problem but i can't promise the results. I think humankind is both good and bad. Some people just know better but truth is we are all bad, we were born to be bad. Can we just change that? sure but that does not mean we can no longer be bad. Have you ever had weird thought like in a grotesque way and you're like wow i am really a bastard... I know i have and i know we all did too at some point. I have seen some people and they actually look like they can't kill a fly but i know it's just a show that they put on. When the curtain is close that's when you see the true faces in silence. There are some things that i have seen from the most innocent people that i hate to be classify as an innocent little girl because that doesn't exist. Don't call me anything, don't tell me i look like anyone, don't tell me where i belong because trust me i have been to places...I have seen some things oh yes i have. Choosing not to speak when no one ask you to and when you weren't been spoken to is something to admire. Some people cannot stay quiet for the world have to know everything about what they know.

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2016-09-18T18:34:48+02:00

Another thing about relationship that i think that i have not mentioned.

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Septembre 2016 à 06:34 PM

Hello there i took some time to myself the way that i have been going there was no stopping. I had to put a foot down on the ground i had no time to think but i need it. There are some things that we all should face now i'm not here to announced that i fell in love or found someone hell to the nahhh i am not about to settle down quit yet which brings me to my point. my point is some of you have been going out with someone for like 5 years or more whatever...and you haven't really been alone look i am not judging anyone who's been in a long time type of relation, good for you if you have(well i wouldn't know) i am not ashamed of that i'm happy to tell you all about it...when you haven't been alone for a while you will do anything not to be and some of the times the decisions that you make is not the best for you. You need to be alone because when you are alone you learn more about yourself. Hell with relationship goals you're still young you've got time to think don't go ahead and settle down too quickly to regret it later on. If you cannot be alone you are a coward that's what you are. The people who are alone are the bravest they are not afraid to go for what they want when they are ready and they will know when they are ready because they've been alone so they know enough about themselves. Now i am NOT telling you to break up with your significant other all i am saying is that you need time to grow. Remember i talk briefly about that crush i had when i was very very young and the guy moved out of the country well i am glad he did that, i am glad he didn't encourage me into making me believe and i am glad he didn't like me that way because if he did i would have made a huge mistake why? because i was not ready. When you are not ready for a relationship you get hurt. I don't know what kind of relationship you've been looking for because nowadays some of y'all have different types of relationship. I have heard the friends with benefit kind hell is that? some of y'all are that desperate that you cannot wait for a real relationship that you need a friend to satisfied the needs? that makes me sick. Lol you know what i think when someone who have seen me before read this they would be like damn she really is something that's right you can't let people fool you like that... i know i may not look the way i speak but that is for me to know and you to find out. Back to what i was talking about... right friends with benefit thing i saw a movie with that tittle a while ago the movie was alright but they fell in love. Now while you doing whatever you're doing with your friend you don't think anyone will get hurt? well you are soooooo wrong one of you is going to get hurt and it might be you. I don't care if you are feeling lonely or whatever there are some things you can do. You can work on yourself, find a job, make some friends, meet new people all of this is educational and trust me try to take the most out of it you won't regret it. All i am saying is you do not need a relationship to be happy when you're not even 25 yet lol don't mind me. You have your youth don't waste it with broken hearts and dumb relationships. You need to focus on yourself and forget about the world for a while be yourself and take time to find God in the process. I am christian so i am always going to bring God here because i believe there is one God. I don't care what people think of me when i say all these things because those are my thoughts and i decided to share some of them with y'all. I believe if i share everything i thought about this blog would be taken down,which is why i have a phone. I think i may be able to help someone by doing this.You know why i said if you are not ready for a relationship you will get hurt it's because first of all if anyone ask you why you are in a relationship in the first place 5/10 you won't have a good reason...i mean yeah you fell in love well did you?...

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2016-09-12T03:24:18+02:00

Haterszzz

Publié par Gaelle.R 12 Septembre 2016 à 03:24 AM

I think most of the time I post something here it's supposed to motivate me or someone...i can tell you most of the things i come up with here just came to me as i start blogging...sometimes i pause and be like woah ! did i just came up with that. Tonight i am going to talk about haters. I don't know how many i have and if i have any but i know some people may and will not like me and that is alright. The reason why i am talking about haters tonight is because we encounter them everywhere. At school, work, bus, home? ugh i hate this but also anywhere you can think of. To tell you it is not your fault that someone hate you. It's because they can't handle you. What do you do when something goes out of control you hate it or you want to change it right? well some people will try to tell you to change the way you do things and when they see that you are not doing what they say they will hate you for it. You don't have to worry about a thing they will still hate you for who you are and there's nothing you can do to make them love you unless you want them to well that's another story. If i was worry about what people think, say or do to me i will not be here blogging about it. I don't care about all that stuff i have learn in life what my real priorities are and what is distraction and you should do the same if you don't know what you want in life yet. I do not know what i want exactly but i have a picture in my head, at least i can visualize it. I cannot see everything and i shouldn't be able to see everything that is going to happen in my life otherwise nothing is going to be interesting. What i want to say is some people can't stand you and you shouldn't cry about it just live your life and know what you stand for don't let the hatred changes who you are. Don't let anyone change your personality or morals you need to be yourself and you should not be afraid. If someone is toxic in your life you need to let that person go. Don't hold back you need to get the stress that is taking a huge place in your life go. Pray about it, talk about it just don't ignore because be there even if you try to ignore it. The things that you ignore it, it will come back into surface and you will need to take care of it sooner or later. If someone is bothering you, you need to tell them to stop or do something about it. No one needs a bully in their life and somehow we all got one. Sometimes we are our own bully. Don't tell yourself you can't do it. You supposed to motivate yourself and believe in yourself before anyone else does it. You need to give yourself that pep talk and tell yourself that you can achieve anything. If you believe in yourself you will find yourself doing things you never thought you could do. Trust me.

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2016-09-09T21:30:13+02:00

The reason why...

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Septembre 2016 à 09:30 PM

hello how is life? well mine is sure is busy like i don't even have time to eat or think for hours like i used to,everything is in a a rush now !! lol how is your life? well since some of y'all never comment but i'm glad that some of you do send me messages...to tell you honeslty you do not need to comment. This is more for me than it is for you lol i mean if you are a late teen who doesn't communicate that much since you have a few people whom you trust then you would understand. i admit that i either talk a lot or i just don't talk at all and this blog is to tell you how i think and how my mind works. Some people think that it is not normal well this blog is for you to see that yes it is not normal but i have my own reasons. I do not care if you like me or not you are here and what does that say? well you either want to know something so you can critize and hate on or it's just that you are interested...either way i am glad you here. To tell you i had this blog for about 3 years now and i am glad that i have it. The reason why i'm glad is because i can leave my anger out here. I am calm on the surface but if i didn't have this blog maybe someone would have died lol. I am glad that i did not kill anyone. wait what am i talking about? right the reason why ! well i am not a normal person...well i think normal is boring and i live my life purposely not to be normal. I hate being normal and thank God i was born different everything is different and i am not ashamed of that. I embrass my weirdness, i embrass my lack of communication. I embrass that i express my feelings through my clothes and style. It is a wonderful thing not to always speak. You learn more about people and you even learn more about yourself when you are quiet. You have time to listen which is the best thing in life learning and knowing. But you need to have a voice. My voice is here,through my style and finally my closest friends. I just think people discover too much about you when you speak too much... ugh i hate when people tell me all about themselves trying to brag like i do not need to know all of that. Your personal bussiness do not need to be out there like that. Hold on to your privacy and work on your weakness within yourself i do not need to know all of your fears and weakness.

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2016-09-04T16:17:19+02:00

No idea what people are saying and why should i care?

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Septembre 2016 à 04:17 PM

Morning ? the tittle explain itself lol i did not want to be so obvious but i might as well get to the point as soon as i can. Have you met those types of people who judge you for everything that you do i mean sometimes you even ask yourself am i that bad? Well you're not but what you need to do is ignore them...some people will talk about your hair, your height, your appearance when that happens to me i just smile because of how shallow these people are. There is nothing i can really do about my physical appearance i am here already i might as well just live my life. I love quiet and peace i hate noise and all of the talking about how i could be better is driving me crazy. I just want to live my life and be happy. unless i choose to be happy no one can really help me do that and same to you too. If you don't decide how you want to live your life and you let other people decide for you then trust me you won't be living your life right. You will be confuse if you don't know what you want in life. I am not saying that you need to know everything you want to do because i can barely do that but you can at least have an idea about who you want to be, how you want to live your life and who you want in your life. Some people are in your life and you can't really see the positive side of them because they are so judgmental and you can't really see why they are there. Sometimes i would catch some people looking at me a certain way because i just speak my mind while other people are also speaking...like what the hell did i do? i think some people love you as long as you are not a threat, honestly i don't think i am a threat to anyone and i wish other people could see that too. I admit i am not much of a talker if i don't know you, don't trust you or don't know what you think of me...but i have a voice i just choose to mind my business because ii hate drama. There are some people i ignore not because i hate them but because i like them in a way that it becomes my weakness so i move away so it doesn't bite me later...lol what a theory i am happy to share this because some of y'all be getting your heart broken my MO is crushes is for amateur why wasting all that love if you are not going to tell the person? you might as well let it die...you do not need to fall for no reason believe me it is a waste of time, energy, thoughts and whatever you do to cope when you like someone who doesn't know that you like them. If you like someone and you feel ready to engage in a relationship then go ahead take your chance pick a way to tell them. You can tell a lot by how someone handle their crush on someone. Some are persistent, distant, rude, sweet,harsh,bittersweet,idiot lol some people just don't know how to be around their crush. For these rude people they come from a different planet. So because you like someone you have to hurt their feelings to make them notice you? it should be the other way around. Even though they say nice guys finish last but just be yourself.

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2016-08-31T05:07:20+02:00

I will never let you go

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Août 2016 à 05:07 AM

I don't know what this is for us but i will let faith decide. I know i haven't been there lately and i am sorry but i have to go to do other things to clear my mind. Being near you suffocates me. It's not entirely your fault but you make me feel that way and i can't deny how much i hate it. It was not like this we used to understand each other. Now i look at you for a split of seconds and i wonder who are you? but i can't seem to find out who you really are. I miss the old you i wish you could show me a piece of who you used to be before it's gone. I don't know what to say and how to talk to you. It was never like this. But one thing i know if i could change this i would but i don't know how and i can't ever do it alone, i need you to help me. Help me understand what i did wrong because i am trying to keep it good between us. I hate to chase and i can't do that because it's not in my nature. But i would love to talk. I am not begging you. If you wanna talk, fine, if you can't then be it. I will not make you change your mind i just want to know. Because i feel like a fish swimming through the ocean...i do not know where i am going and where this path is leading me yet i want to keep going. i am not sure i can keep doing that. I am getting the vibe that you could care less and i hate to admit that i am starting to feel the same way. You can leave and do whatever you like and i can do the same yet i would still wonder about what i don't know. I feel like you are hiding something from me and i am not surprised, you've done it before. I just thought this time would be different but i guess it's not. You are still the same person i met not too long ago. I am not asking you to change. Be who you are but just not with me well not on my watch. I can't stand the thought of you trying to make a fool out of me ...if that's what you want to do well go ahead and try let see who wins rather let see who will discover the truth first...there are some things i don't know and it is better this way. There are some things that i don't know that i like not knowing. But there are some things i can't not know ! yet i still can't let you go.

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2016-08-25T07:06:14+02:00

be who you are armed with confidence

Publié par Gaelle.R 25 Août 2016 à 07:06 AM

well i am sure that i have already talked about being yourself here. Saying it is easy and the ideas seem fun for some people like me i love the idea of being who i am supposed to be. What if i stumbled well many times? so what? we all make mistakes as long as we learn from them then we get something in return. Well it's almost 1 am and i get inspired that time let see how i am going to develop this " be who you are" article...

who are you? and i am not talking about gender we all can see if you are a girl or a boy. what i mean is who are trying to be? are you happy with who you are? some of us hide our insecurities so well that it is so hard to believe that they might be depressed or desperate to change. Let me tell you something ... being here for over a decade and 9 years added i can tell you accepting who you are is the best way to start by making your way to happiness. If you do not love yourself first then how are you going to allow yourself to let someone else love you let alone believe that they actually love you. It is hard to believe that someone love you when you have no experience in love yourself. You wouldn't know how hard it is to love something so beautiful but easy to break. when you look at yourself in the mirror what do you see? besides your face, body do you see other things? your qualities? well i am not perfect and i am not going to sit here and preach about accepting yourself when i am still learning myself. Being a girl especially in this society is hard. All the girls i see nowadays have a big butt, big boobs and they are all about the BODY. As much as i hate to say this but i feel like i am missing a lot of things when i look at another picture of these girls. I am not like them. I am not curvy no i am just me some most people think i am skinny ... which is good some people say it is while others are competing with me saying they are skinnier than me. I do not want to compete... i am not perfect and i will never be ! i am just who i am...flaws in all. To be honest sometimes i look at these pictures and i wish i had bigger things in my body but what can i do? there is only one thing i have to do and that is to love myself and to accept that i am not these girls but i am just me. I won't spend a lot of money on make up such as contour or whatever girls are buying these days rather i would gladly spend it on a great book or sneakers... i do love lipstick but who doesn't? lol if you are a boy and you are reading this well i am sorry (i ain't sorry) the reason i am saying all of this tonight is only because i know that there some girls going through the same struggles...that does not mean you're not beautiful. Believe we are all beautiful in our own way. And to believe that you are not because you are comparing yourself to someone else is crucial you do not need all this stress in your life, you need to let it go. You are beautiful just the way you are and you do not need to change everything about yourself

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