No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2016-07-03T00:36:57+02:00

fake friend

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Juillet 2016 à 12:36 AM

I talked about a few people here and some of them didn't deserved to be talked about... but i talked because here is my free zone. I don't want to hide. I have been doing that a whole lot and lately i don't want to do that anymore. Things are not so perfect right now. I am confused, lost despite all i am still happy. Let me share a story with you. I met a guy at work no not like that we've been friends ever since we first met. At least i thought we were friends. Do you know those kinds of people who are somewhat your friend, joke around with you. Sometimes the jokes get so serious and your feelings get hurt and if you are the type of person who get hurt fast then you will probably will not like someone that's messing around with your feelings like it didn't matter. I believe that he is one of the toxic people whom i wish i didn't meet. I don't hate him i just feel sorry for him. The reason why i feel sorry for him is because even though he hurts my feelings he didn't know what he was doing because he got so much pride to say sorry. I want an apology but i don't care anymore. He hurts my feelings multiple times and i would laugh it off. The thing is you don't have to do what i did. You can stop someone from hurting you before it gets out of hand. I waited too long to tell him to back off. He made me look like i was the one who did something wrong when in fact i didn't do anything wrong except protecting myself. I don't know what to do when someone is being a bully.

Answering back only backfire and i know because i have tried that.

ignoring them only makes some go on and on but some do stop

I cannot believe that some people have the guts to hurt you and look you in the eyes with pride and say you're the one who allow this to happen. He did not say it but the way he acted afterwards show me that he didn't care much. He didn't even try to talk to me about it. It was a test and he failed. He showed me that he wasn't really my friend, he doesn't really care about me or how i feel.

He claimed that he cared but really he doesn't. He showed me who he really is and that i shouldn't trust him. By the fact there are only a few people that i trust and i can count them with no hesitation.

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2016-06-26T13:43:58+02:00

From me to you.

Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Juin 2016 à 01:43 PM

This morning i want to share something with you all and i have thought about it before but i didn't know how to approach this in a way that i will not offend anyone. But then i guess this is my blog and if it really is then i can say what i want here as long as it reflects my true self because i don't want to seem differently than i am...

A few years back i met a boy, i was a lot younger, gullible and way nicer after this it shook my life it woke me up about how people can break someone heart maybe i became cold to love. But at first he was just a regular one... I was not in love at that age i didn't know what love was it was just a crush which i took to the extreme. That time i started to write and that's when i discover that i can use my emotions to create something on a paper. I went through a lot for a child well it wasn't like major or anything but the feeling was too much. I was new in town. but when you're a kid anything new feels like something big and if it goes wrong it feels like the end of the world. Now you realize it was not a big of a deal. so he and i talked which i guess was partly my fault if it was a mess ...talking to a boy doesn't mean you have a crush on them or that you want to be more than friends well that's what i think but other people don't see it that way. They will try to create a whole different story which was not there in the first place. I know what you must be thinking oh if she's talking about a boy than she must be in love ! lol nope i don't want to be and like i said before i have too much in my life to deal with the drama that boys do bring. Right now i don't care about these stuff but they do have a lot to say ! they think i like them. One of them was like oh "i know you're in love with me" i was like NO ! some boys always think they can have any girls which is not true. Well for instance you can't have me. That's what i want to talk about. Boy listen i know you think you are not attractive you've said it yourself but here's a piece of advice. Lose your pride...thinking you have a lot of girls after you...telling me that is suppose to make me want you to ? or is it that you think i want you? LOL you are something else you know that. Like you don't i have anyone after me well i don't go around and say it because it doesn't do anything it will sound like i'm bragging which i hate and i hate people who does that. I know how it feels to be the girl on the sideline confuse asking is it me? well it was a few years back and i didn't know what i know now. If i knew i would be who i am today there are a few things i wouldn't have to try back then and i am growing which means i am only getting better with age. when people (other girls) discover who you really are (in a relationship) like i picked up from the very beginning withouth going in they will toss you in the trash can. I don't care what you think about me or what you think you know about me and i never did care...to think that i found you deep is a different way to put it. you always think you can figure people out which makes me think of you lesser than the person i thought you were each time you open that big mouth of yours i feel sorry that i gave you the benefit of the doubt once. I give you the chance to prove me wrong and for a split of second you had me believing just maybe you were different than who i thougth you were

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2016-06-25T04:37:04+02:00

what I learn today

Publié par Gaelle.R 25 Juin 2016 à 04:37 AM

People can bring out the worse out of you it's up to you to be different than who they think you are. You are not ought to be the person someone wants you to be. Just because they say you don't know what you are doing does not mean that you are...You are ought to be who you want. You can choose what you want to do. Don't follow your emotions and make a bad decision. Life doesn't go the right way when you act on a simple emotion or feeling. Calm yourself down and think about where you went wrong. And find a way to do it better next time. I admit that when i'm mad i am not thinking this wisely... i want to break things, scream, run but i just stand there quietly thinking about all the worse possible things in the world. One thing that can really calm me down is this...writing. I can't do anything else but write.

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2016-06-21T22:42:55+02:00

faded

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Juin 2016 à 10:42 PM

I met you a while ago...it was nice to meet you but along the way something just didn't feel the way. You would say some things and i would no longer agree or feel the same way and so i took my distance discreetly without you even noticing and so i thought until you started to ask me questions and being all suspicious. I didn't know what to say and so i never told you that i thought we were two different people and that i don't think we will ever come to an agreement. Instead i nodded and said i will find some time to spend with you so we can talk more. I acted like i knew what i was doing and you thought that you've made a fool out of me. But i knew who you were from the beginning i was just giving you the benefit of the doubt. You thought i was absorbing everything you say which shows how little you know me even though you claim that you know me more than i know myself. It was nice in the beginning that i can admit but you turn out to be the stranger i thought you would choose not to be and i took my space. I left you there with your own words, own mind. You didn't know what to say i could tell. I know that you thought you had me on the palm of your hand but you realized that you were totally wrong. That must've hurt didn't it? Well one thing i have to say to you is that don't ever think you know someone more than they let on maybe that's exactly what they want you to know. Poor you thought you knew everything.

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2016-06-21T22:21:50+02:00

Now and then

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Juin 2016 à 10:21 PM

Last year at this time everything was different... I did not have much hope then. I missed a flight in NY and i was desperate to get home I had to wait on stand by. The only thing that i have learned and that i want to share with you is that you have to learn to wait and that it is extremely important to wait.Then i hated waiting I still do but less...I have been through so much that waiting felt like an eternity and that's why i came to hate it. We all have to go through things to live the real life...having things easy is not living. You have to cry, ask why learn to become a better person. It doesn't come easily. Nothing comes easy if it does well you need to wonder why. I thought that life was different when i grew up but i still have to fight not to see it the same way. Did you know that you have to fight yourself not be a child because it is so easy to stay home and pretend that your parents will take care of things. But as you aged you are the one taking care of your parents and you are the one that some little kids look up to so then now you will have to live to that expectation. I love kids even though i don't seem like the type... i won't tell you why i said that because i do not want to tell you much about me. Before i go on with my life off this blog i want you to know that this is not a secret and maybe someday someone that doesn't have good intention will discover this but i do not care. Everything i said here well i want you to know that i thought about them through and that it poses no threat to me. It is a nice day today which is the second day of summer. I am excited aren't you not? well you should be. Some people have so many things to say and sometimes i feel like i should care but i really don't. Some people are saying about how i changed which is not surprising as i am clearly growing up. Childish things are no longer my priority by the way have i ever been a child? I just cannot remember because i always thought like a grown person and sometimes people would stop and look at me weird. I know that i might be weird. But being a writer has its perks for example drifting off when you should be paying attention, Having little to say not fighting the right word to say when you have a whole chapter written in you head. Writers are not the happiest, we have to feel things. I feel things even the little ones that i can just brush off....i just keep thinking that i am a character and that i have a role to play...i try to wake up shake my head off and tried to think everything through before i make a mistake of not participating. Sometimes i want to dip my toes in the sand, get a little taste but i do not know how. My head is full of stories, memories, pictures, faces that i cannot recall with my eyes open. I have to dream or my life won't make since. I am drunk on words and stories from the past that staying sober in real life is almost impossible but somehow i have been acting like the perfect character the goody two shoes never miss a beat. I have missed out on so many things because i was off to another place i missed out on the reality in exchange i got a good story one that i will tell someday.

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2016-06-18T04:31:18+02:00

what life is about..

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Juin 2016 à 04:31 AM

Life is not about problems and being serious...it's mostly about laughing, having fun but not too much so u won't forget about your responsibilities. You need to have a purpose in life not only partying and stuff but you know things to keep you grounded. But really life is about embracing yourself and feeling good in yourself. You need to realize your potential and know that you are special if you don't see that then no one else will even if they do what's the point if you don't see it yourself? you need to know that you are good just the way you are. You don't need to be any thicker, smaller, taller just embrace yourself. There is no crime in wanting to change yourself but don't get carried away and obsessing about it.

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2016-06-12T16:28:41+02:00

The reason why Rihanna is my favorite celebrity.

Publié par Gaelle.R 12 Juin 2016 à 04:28 PM

Since i was younger if someone ask what's your favorite celebrity i would say with a serious face "Rihanna" and people would be surprise like what do you know about being unfaithful you only 10 lol I would know every word to that song and i would sing it to their face. I didn't know how to speak english then but i knew all the Rihanna's songs. But growing up i understand her better. After her tragic relationship with Chris B i got to know her more and surprisingly i found out we have a lot of things in common ...when someone hurt me i would keep trying to see the good in the person keep thinking i could be the person's guardian angel to save them for their dark side before i realize that i need to move on. She did the same. And now i realize that she's been single for a while now even though people say she sleeps around only she knows but from what she says on an interview it's like she doesn't want to let anyone in not even for one night because she would wake up feeling like "shit" word for word and empty...i think the same. I don't want to let anyone in and i won't settle just for anybody. That's right i am single too. Like she says it gets lonely but we have a lot on our plates. I am a busy person i am taking care of a lot of things. Thinking about a relationships only happens on those rare nights but i get past that and keep going with my life because i believe it makes me stronger. Staying out from the world of dating being a stranger an outsider and never thought about going in... she loves fashion not only that but putting her own things together and so do i !

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2016-06-10T03:18:44+02:00

real friends and people who are down for you

Publié par Gaelle.R 10 Juin 2016 à 03:18 AM

Let me tell you something..i met a lot of people some were good and some not so good i mean i'm talking about the quality nothing bad i was just not feeling it. Thing is some people will pretend to be your friend but hate you on the down low it's not for no reason they say keep your enemies closer. For them you are an obstacle they see you as someone who's trying to take over poor you ! you just over there doing you and you didn't notice anything. Life is weird man ! I thought someone was my friend a while ago turns out i was wrong and i wasn't surprised i was like i don't even care no more do you imma do me booboo i don't care anymore and i didn't a while ago. I don't like to be associated with anything i'm just me. Don't put any label because i do not like that. What I like don't matter to some people sometimes. Growing up is tough because you start to do stuff on your own and because of that your whole attitude change you're not the same anymore so some people will try to point that out. You need to accept that you are no longer a child. It's hard for them to accept that you are no longer a child and truth is you are not supposed to stay like a child you need to grow up. Doing it now won't hurt if your attitude changed because of something in your life it's only because you are growing up. You need to accept the change nothing says it's for the best you can also change in a bad way. You need to realize that soon and to get yourself some help. Growing up something in you is going to switch you can never be the same that's life man...

Real friends don't hate or get jealous of each other but build each other instead. A good friend will want you to succeed and won't have any problem to see you succeed before he or she does but instead will make noise encourage you. You in the other hand can encourage your friend to do the same. Not based on what you did but based on what you want for your friend. Friendship is very complicated i didn't know until i was growing up and meeting my best friend last year...we overcome a lot and we learn from each other. I am trying to be a good friend for her because i am not perfect and i make mistakes. I would hate to hurt her feelings or to betray her which is why she is my only good friend. I like her so much she doesn't even know how much, she just learn how to drive lol she is becoming a good driver and she motivates me to do the same. Life change so much !

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2016-06-09T15:01:16+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Juin 2016 à 03:01 PM

some people enter your life to make you happy and some to make you miserable either way they are there to teach you something valuable about life take it to heart and don't give up. In the end it will be you and they all will be gone so learn as much as you can before you left alone so you don't ever have to go through this again.

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2016-05-24T05:37:58+02:00

alone and okay.

Publié par Gaelle.R 24 Mai 2016 à 05:37 AM

explaining to someone that he or she is not the one for you is extremely hard especially if you don't want to hurt their feelings and still want to stay friend with them. I heard people say it's not possible but i don't believe it at all. if there was a connection then it can still stay there even after the person learn what you have to say and what you want. I hope that if i ever hurt someone this way big misunderstanding. I never talk about my relationship with a boy here and i have my reasons for that. People see beyond of what they see... seeing a young girl putting so much WORK into her appearance does not mean she wants to impress guys or get a boyfriend maybe she just loves fashion maybe she is working on herself.People who have religious belief says you don't have to work on yourself let God do the work. I agree but we have to admit that we all have to work on ourselves to accept the help of God...some people do it differently. Just because a girl go out alone does not mean that she is going to see a boy maybe she just have things to take care of. Life does not revolve around relationships and sex. I see life differently i see friendship, family , Putting God first, praying, helping others, listening, talking, music, writing and love. All of these things are extremely important to me... i don't see sex as a way to feel complete..issues yes...whatever you may call it but those are what i believe in and i am not going to let go of them. Being fake has nothing to do with me. They judge me thinking i have a lot of guys after me which is so wrong i believe i scared them away. Behind this screen i am open and talkative to you all but i can assure you that i am very intimidating. I am not making that up people told me that themselves...i try to make it clear that i am single and that i want to be single....but you all know how lonely it gets especially when you are surrounded by couples...but i am happy being alone i don't want to complicate my life leaving my heart in someone's hand. I want to be alone. I don't to feel like i need someone to complete me. when the time comes i will find the one or get into the roller coaster but as for right now i can't. Even if i had a crush but it's just infatuation it will go away it always does. so many people don't know me...because i don't talk about these things and that confuses them into thinking of me wrong. I know what i came here to do and i know what i want. i will let them talk gosh are they all over the place.

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