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how's life? well i'm not going to talk about mine as you all know i hate to talk about myself because i don't want to sound too conceited even though it's my blog...it's been a while and i have been busy. People who have a life don't have a blog you know ! not that i don't have a life but i try to fit it in between my stuff. Well before i wasn't this busy but my mind was preoccupied and filled with things i could have gotten rid of but didn't. Have you ever done something stupid and suddenly some people got rid of you afraid to look at you? well i think if you didn't kill someone, cheat on someone or some other act of fornication, steal you should not blame yourself to the point where you want to die because anything can be fixed maybe with time but" chaque chose a son temps" if you don't know what that means well check google translate even tough it doesn't translate it well but you will get the concept. I realize something this week that is :" you are not living for anyone" you are living because God put you here and you living for him. I'm living for God and my parents. Who you living for? bae? friends? people? well think about it...because if you don't one day you are going to be confused just like i have a while ago. I am not confused maybe afraid of showing too much ...well showing who you are is being real and you need to be real. You do you need to show your true self not some character from a book but you. Don't be afraid to speak your mind and do what you because that makes you unique too much people are trying to be normal you're just going to be added to that longish list. Do you want to be like everyone else? what's the point? I am proud to have this blog to speak my mind as i please i wish i had done it sooner it would have been easier. But it's still helps. Being behind the wall and not being able to hear a thing, hiding from the unknown trying to fit in, loving others and forgetting about yourself ...all the things that was once there but gone. realizing that you deserve better and walking away from it all, not looking back. Running out of breath the memories left behind hush it's getting too loud as i speak i hear my own voice get quieter and the memories are rushing in the dark voice way over my head telling me to stop talking it's not worth it hush them...i continue to speak they get louder, i scream you can't hear but my head is exploding as there is no facial expression you can't tell. I know you think i did it on purpose, slowly i process things and you judge me for not reacting quickly i look at you i see the angry face but i cannot see the madness. Open your mouth being wrong. They tell you you should be ashamed for your own thinking. Not being like the others even though you act just like them. They don't know you believe unicorns still exist while they see this world in black in white and yes and no while you see rainbows in a world full of maybes. They looking at you scrutinizing your every move telling you how to be and how to behave. Endless task you want it to be over. You want to take somebody hands and runaway with them but you don't find that person. You got quiet and less enjoyable to be with as they are all moving away so they won't catch your sadness that speaks so loud that the wild cats can hear from miles away all over town to the Forrest. What must you do? antidepressant don't help it's your soul that needs surgery. You need to find the right doctor even though you don't know who takes care of these things.
2016-05-23T04:47:02+02:00