No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2020-01-04T04:44:28+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Janvier 2020 à 04:44 AM

Tu sais, je voulais tellement que tu restes avec moi.

J’aimerais tant de t’avoir à mes côtés.

Ça m’a fait mal quand tu es parti sans rien me dire.

Je voulais savoir si j’ai fait quelques choses de mal.

Je voulais m’excuser sans savoir pourquoi.

Je voulais te dire à quel point tu m’étais cher sans savoir si je valais quelques choses à tes yeux.

Ça m’étonnerais de savoir que toi aussi tu voulais que je sois près de toi.

Tout ce que tu m’a montré c’est à quel point tu voulais être loin de moi.

J’ai tout accepté sans répliquer, que dirais je si tu me disais que tu voulais plus être près de moi?

Je ne voulais pas t’entendre me le dire je le savais déjà.

J’avais l’impression que je me creusais la tête pour rien.

J’avais l’impression que tu as trouvé mieux ailleurs.

J’avais l’impression que tu ne voulais plus me voir.

Ça m’a fait mal.

Mais je suis une lionne.

Je ne vais pas rester là à penser au chose qui me fait de la peine.

Je ne reste pas au lit à pleurer.

Moi je vais au boulot je travail 10 fois plus.

Je mange beaucoup plus

Je dors beaucoup plus.

Je ne reste pas là à pleurer.

J’ai voulu le faire mais je me suis dis que je trouverai mieux.

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2020-01-01T21:00:07+01:00

questions ? well I got an answer (I change some answers)

Publié par Gaelle.R 1 Janvier 2020 à 09:00 PM

1. Describe your happiest childhood memory?

Oh wow LOL I am laughing at the thought of it. Ok so I was probably 5 or 6 and there was my uncle's wife older sister and she wore glasses, they were funny looking and I remember me and my cousin was playing and the glasses was on the table. I think we bet that the glasses couldn't be set on fire lol so you know I am the type of person once it's bet I'll make sure I make it happen. There was this Haitian lamp with actual fire inside of it lol (duh) but anyway I put the glasses in there for a while. The glasses handle got burn and the glasses was looking weird, so after that I slowly place it back in the case on the table. Later that day a lot of people came to the house for week day meeting I remember it was a Tuesday night lol so a person noticed how burn the glasses were and my uncle's wife promise whoever burn the glasses a plate of food I was like "me I did it !!!" everyone laugh lol it was funny the way it happened.

2. what is one of your favorite songs that you enjoy (and why do you like it )?

Right now I like solo by Demie Lovato... It's pretty clear lol. I like the beat and the way she said solo. There's nothing deep about it.

3 what is one of your favorite songs from your childhood ?

oh wow I got plenty of songs, but since I am speaking in English so I will say I liked Akon a lot one song that I really liked was don't matter. Even when I was little and I didn't even know English I knew good songs( ahaha) ok so yh that was one of them. Wait I loved the Barbie song a lot back then too.

4. who is the one friend you can rely on?

I would say mom she became a very close friend last year... I went through a lot and she's been there more than some of my friends I love them all but that's the truth. I have great friends and good people around me but I feel more connected to my mom and maybe one or two people...

6. what is the biggest accomplishment in your personal life?

well it's not personal if I share it, but one thing I can say is that I am working in myself each day...It is a process and sometimes I have to talk to myself to make sure I stay on tract I can say I am my own coach when something goes wrong. Being able to get back up when I fall down and being able to look at the positive things in life is one of accomplishments.

7. what is my favorite memory of my father or stepfather ?

I don't have a stepfather. I love my dad a whole lot and I wish that I could express that love to him. I didn’t grow up with him but he was always there, he did support me and he never forgot about me I am his princess. I love him from the moon and back he is one of my first love. I will forever be grateful for him... I am trying to get to know him better by creating a connection. My favorite memory of him was when I was really little I remember my uncle at the time looked exactly like him and I used to think my uncle was my father so I called him “daddy” too I remember my dad got mad lol he got really jealous so he took me from my uncle’s arm and took me far away to tell me he’s my father and that he loves me a lot. This bring tears to my eyes as I am writing it down. He is amazing.

8.what is your favorite memory of your mother?

I love my mom and I lived with her more than I did with my dad. My favorite memory of her was when she use to come kiss my forehead while I sleep and I used to feel those kisses so light and warm they made me feel safe.

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2020-01-01T17:52:58+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 1 Janvier 2020 à 05:52 PM

It hurts so bad ...

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2020-01-01T04:33:05+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 1 Janvier 2020 à 04:33 AM

To be inspired and to realize things I realize I have to be away from a lot of things.

I cannot be stress if I want to deliver something amazing, I can be sad and use my emotion (those are my best work) I connect well with the reader when I have some internal conflict and when I want to express how I feel...

2020

is coming and honestly I will be the same girl just better...I will do my best to stay positive and I will focus on myself as always. I will try to be the best version of myself. I will try to understand people.

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2019-12-31T19:30:17+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Décembre 2019 à 07:30 PM

Hey

Alright I have exactly 10 mins to write this before I start working... let’s see just how far I can go.

To be fair, for you to understand what I am going to say I probably need to explain things. Let me just say that lately I have been feeling so out of it and I feel so discouraged. I didn’t know what was going on and it’s hurting somewhere I just don’t know where. I want to scream but nothing is coming out.

I realize that the enemy will do anything when you’re trying to get to the light. He will try to stop you from getting closer to God. Some people might not tell you but we are all fighting a battle from within. Some of us just have better ways of getting over it and they can recover a little faster than some people but at the end of the day all of us will fall. We want to always be strong, to be happy and hopeful but as soon as you start making your way to God at some point you will feel something trying to break you down... temptation, discouragement, loneliness, hatred, alienation, financial crisis, rejection but let me tell you something from experience I know in the moment it will look so dark because that’s what the enemy wants you to see. Listen to me this is for you and I focus on God close your eyes on the hurt, on the rejection, on the financial crisis or whatever it is just close your eyes and pray. Cry out to God and tell him everything that hurts he know what hurts but you have to ask him to heal you. You have to believe that he can in fact heal you because he can.

I believe Jehovah the creator of all things can make anything possible he can get me out of that place of sadness he can help me get over my fear of speaking what I believe in and any other fears that I have. I believe that he can wake me up from acting like a zombie when I have so much to say and so much to do. What about you what do you believe God can do for you? Write it down for yourself

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2019-12-30T22:30:50+01:00

story time

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Décembre 2019 à 10:30 PM

Bruh !

Today I had the most unnecessary break down in my whole history of having breakdowns like this one was crazy. I did called one of my friends to say how I feel and I feel so bad for that person right now because all they've been hearing was probably like "blah blah life is not fair, it's hard... I can't"

I don't mean to be so annoying like omg !! I think I apologize to everyone I have put on the spot like that. Now I am fine and I am able to laugh at it but omg it was hard.... I mean I was driving and it was a long day for me and the road was bad there's snow and ice outside. One quick reminder if you're crying or not feeling well mentally just park the car on the side of the road do what you gotta do cry, scream, break something (other than yourself of the car) or throw something out the car just pull to the side to do that because if you're doing all of that while driving you might die or have a car accident. I don't wish that on any of my readers and myself included which is what I will do next time.

I was freaking out so bad I could not stop crying I mean real tears dripping down my face all over my hair, clothes and the wheel like it was crazy. One thing I learn is that it is okay to cry, just let it all out...I don't normally cry (I am not a cry baby) I only cry when it's too much or my feeling is hurt or whatever...but when someone hurt my feeling and I cry that is just quick tears I can move on from that I just tell myself "who cares ? move on they don't worth my tears" but today I could not say that because what I was feeling was coming from within not from someone else.

At the beginning of the year I started a novel and it was going great I think I wrote 4-5 chapters...I was obssed about it at first because it took my mind off of things and I was not that busy, but then I became busy with life and my spirituality took over (that is not an excuse) but let's just say I just wanted to spend time with God sometimes because I had so much going on. Writing a book is like pouring out your energy into something and I don't think I had a lot of energy if I did it was just for a little while, then I got bored. Now at the end of the year I realize that I did not finish anything I started not even that novel...I was frustrated and then I started looking at various areas of my life that I am not doing so good at and I am like bruh do I ever finish anything? then boom tears...

One thing I can say I usually know what to tell someone who's feeling sad even they don't believe what I am saying but I always have something to say but let me just say that I did not have anything to tell myself. I felt like I was my own enemy. I am looking at myself in the rear view mirror and I cannot tell myself to stop crying and to get out the car... I pause there for a few and I don't regret the fact that I cried because I needed to let it out... It feels great now but in the moment my world felt like it was ending.

I am great. I thank anyone who has been there for me one way or another.

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2019-12-29T16:47:36+01:00

relationship

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Décembre 2019 à 04:47 PM

So I said that I was not going to say what my relationship status is and I think that I should come clean, I want to be myself and not hide especially not here. I always advise all of you to be yourself and to never apologize for it and to also be the best version of yourself.

Truth is started from the beginning of this blog until now, I never talked about my relationship status because there was never an existent status. I have never been in a relationship boooom here's the bomb. I write about love, I write about a guy even but there is no one it all came from my imagination. The things that I know about love have always been from books, my mom or what someone else told me. The reason why I am not in a relationship is not a secret I just want to take my time. I am not trying to be someone else anymore. There it is and I am happy being myself even if it's alone (for now) I am not going to tell you what to do or advise you about what to do in a relationship because I have no knowledge about it but I can tell you how to begin looking for the right one because that is the stage that I am.

I am also not going to tell you to get a significant other or not to get one it is all up to you, just like it is my choice. Make sure you make a decision that is right for YOU.

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2019-12-29T16:30:16+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Décembre 2019 à 04:30 PM

Hey there !

A recap on this blog, when I first started to blog I was in high school I was about 16 or so...I can't remember I think I was 16 I am too lazy to see the date of my first article. But throughout the years I have changed. At first I started out being bitter (for personal reason) I was glad to share part of what I was feeling with you. After a while I became hopeless and not believing in love, I also became sad for a while which may have been for a long time. Then I became hopeful and to the point where I thought I had love until I started to realize that I needed to love myself... which I did and I shared some tips about what I am doing. Finally this year mostly which is the year I really loved myself better when I started taking my walk with God seriously. I always believed in God and I always thought that there is a creator of all these things that I see on earth and beyond but I wouldn't really try getting closer to him.

Throughout the years I used to participate in some holidays such as Christmas and Halloween or whatever else there is even my birthday but it will come to a shock to some of you, I don't celebrate none of these things anymore for my personal beliefs I may share it in 2020 if I still feel the sharing. My way of seeing things have changed a lot is different now. I cringe while I read some of the old articles because I am not like that anymore at least I am trying to change for the better. I tended to have an ego so big...being mean perhaps it was unintentionally but hey that's what made you connect with me...maybe I was unapologetic well now I am learning to own up to my mistakes and face the consequences and apologize when I need to.

I think I grew up with this blog throughout my teenage years and the beginning of my adulthood. It's great to be here and to have this platform to express my feelings and also trying to be a better writer each day while I help and inspire some of you. I am proud of all of you and thank you for being here !

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2019-12-29T05:32:02+01:00