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2020-03-07T05:33:06+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

As the cold air blows against my face I feel all the weights lifted off of me.

Suddenly my heart is becoming light as I keep breathing.

I thought it was going to stop me.

I thought it was going to weigh me down.

I thought I was going to suffer.

I thought I was going to be sad.

but instead I am happy.

I feel more at peace.

I feel more like myself as I let it slip out of my hands,

I thought I was going to cry but instead I have been laughing more than before.

My heart is smiling at me for saving it from being broken this time.

I thought it was a lost cause but instead I have found myself.

I didn't think I was going to make it.

But my mind wanted the best for my heart.

They are both thanking me for choosing peace.

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2020-03-06T04:08:49+01:00

tired

Publié par Gaelle.R

hey there,

I am just tired of everything especially fake people...I cannot stand people who smile in front of me and talk bad behind my back. I know that I cannot control what people say about me but I just want to preserve my peace. I like being at peace and no one is bothering me. I just want to feel safe in my own bubble but that's hard when so many people always try to burst that bubble I don't know how they find me out of all people...like I literally mind my own business and I barely talk to people I don't know. People think I am quiet but they don't know I am secretly crazy and that I talk a lot which can be annoying at times. Anyways only very few people get close to me and you know why? because I like my peace and I feel safe knowing that I am not out here like that.

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2020-03-04T15:00:05+01:00

weird dreams.

Publié par Gaelle.R

You ever had a dream Inside of a dream and a dream Inside of another dream. It’s like you wake up and see yourself having the dream and you're like wow really you’re really dreaming about that? but you still haven't woken up yet so you see yourself joking about the dream you just had while you're still dreaming.

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2020-03-04T02:35:48+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

more questions to answer.

 

I actually like those questions.

 

  1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

I like black pen because it looks like typed letters just a little bit messy.

 

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

I like the country side. I do not like the city even if you pay me I simply won’t live in a busy area. I’ve always lived in a deserted place or a place that is on the inside of a very quiet neighborhood. In my country I did live somewhere that looked like the city but the house was kind of far back I didn’t feel like I was part of everything happening on the outside. 

 

  • If you could learn a new skill, what would it be ?                                       Learning how to play piano. It’s an instrument I always wanted to play but never had the chance to, I never even tried.
  • Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar ?

Hell yes ! I put extra sugar in both. I don’t like anything bitter. (I’m sweet so, haha it sounded a lot better in my head) don’t read that again it was awful. 

 

  • What was your favorite book as a child?

Is it weird that I remember because I read it so many times over and over again. It was “oui oui et le gendarme” it’s a French book some of you may not know. 

 

  • Do you prefer baths or showers?

I like both and I can do them consecutively.

 

  • If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose ?

I would choose to be a fairy. I don’t know why but I think Angelina Jolie made me feel like it’s the sexiest thing alive. 

  • Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

Paper because I feel more connected to the author. 

  

  • what is your favorite item of clothing?

Uhmmmm... I think my pink turtleneck  sweater. I love turtleneck shirts like a lot maybe a little too much. 

 

  • Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Yes I love my name there’s a big story behind it... would I change it? hell no.

  • Who is a mentor to you ?

Someone I can go to for advice and someone who has a lot more experience.

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2020-03-03T17:45:08+01:00

the tea and that's that on that.

Publié par Gaelle.R

so this is not that relevant but I am bored and I'm like might as well leave this here. I might delete later though...

why I haven't been in a relationship.

It's no surprises I said that before...I am actually avoiding relationships at the moment to be honest and it's not that I cannot be in one or that I don't want to be in one (actually yh I don't want to), I can but will it be the type of relationship I want to be in? that will be hard to find but that's not impossible. I just have no tolerance for people wasting my time which is why I don't reply to any flirty text anymore to anyone that I have no interest in. As soon as I sense that someone is getting too close and on top of that something is very fishy about them I'm going to run away I don't believe in the whole let me stick around and see how this ends type of girl. I will end it before it gets too far off the edge because I barely got time to sleep and on top of that I don't want to be stressing out about some relationship issue and losing sleep that I barely got in the first place. I don't feel ready mentally and the whole process of getting to know someone is not somethig I am looking forward to right now. I want my peace now, I want to keep my sanity... I want to stay inside my unburst-able bubble  (that's not a word I just made it up I just wanna say that my bubble cannot be burst) I want to feel at peace. So no I don't want anybody's son at the moment.

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2020-03-03T15:34:18+01:00

deep questions.

Publié par Gaelle.R

1. close your eyes and think of five things that make you smile when you think about them. what are they?

  • my mom (because she's my first love)
  • a cat yawning.
  • someone special.
  • getting a makeover after looking like a mess for a while.
  • childhood memories

2. if your house was on fire and you had sixty seconds to leave, what would you take with you?

My phone because how am I supposed to call 911... my laptop because I have a lot of things that aren't saved anywhere online on it. 

3. when you're alone in the middle of the night and you can't quite get to sleep, what do you think about?

I think about the future and I imagine all the things I want on there.

4. what is love to you?

a choice and a commitment. 

5. what is the opposite of love?

uhm hate? duhh

6. is it possible to love someone if you don't love yourself ?

Personally I don't think it's possible because you can only give what you have in you to give. If you don't have love how can you give it to someone? like you may think you know what love is, as long as you hate yourself you cannot love anyone else that is just my opinion.

7. do you focus more on the past, the present or the future?

the future, I don't think about the past as much as I used to, it's usually bad memories. I move on real quick now, my happiness is more important.

8. do you judge people for what or how they express themselves? (be honest)

ok I am not too judgmental but we all judge I mean do I judge? yes but not as much as I used to.

9. when you're very scared or worried, what do you think about or do to help you feel better?

I close my eyes and breathe deep.

10 how do you feel about what happens after death?

I see it as a very peaceful sleep... I think of sleeping beauty.

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2020-03-02T01:48:33+01:00

questions

Publié par Gaelle.R

1.Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? why haven't you done it?

well, I always dreamt of going to Paris since I was little. Why haven't ? well anyone want to buy the tickets for me ? lol no but for real I am just not ready for this trip I want to go when I  graduate it will feel more like a celebration.

2. what are some things you've had to unlearn ?

I had to unlearn to do the eye wing makeup on my eyes from high school, it was awful I don't know why anyone  didn't tell me to stop. Now I can't do it even if I try and I am happy that I can't because it was horrible.

3 what question would you most like to know the answer to?

what will I be doing in 10 years from now? and I want the answer to be very detailed...

4. if you didn't have to sleep what would you do with the extra time?

I would write more and watch all the movies I fell asleep to and it's a lot.

5. what has been the most stressful experience in your life?

finding an apartment and the next couple weeks after my car accident.

6. what's the worse piece of advice you've ever received?

okay the first time I went natural someone styled my hair and I mean no twist out, no styling products just straight up afro and she was like perfect.. you look beautiful... uhm that wasn't good at all I actually permed my hair after that it was a fail but the next year I went natural on my own.

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2020-03-02T01:33:06+01:00

plans.

Publié par Gaelle.R

One thing I realize in order to make anything work in life you will need a plan. I usually plan out my days, I think it sounds so good but I never follow it step by step though It's actually crazy ! I spent a whole 5 minutes planning out a day that will never see the light of day (that was a joke I usually cross out most of the things on my list) 

I'm going to answer some questions...

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2020-03-02T01:26:30+01:00

hey.

Publié par Gaelle.R

I feel better... I literally thought I was going to end up in the hospital with an IV bag inject in my arm this how bad I was feeling. I thank God for health...I know how I was feeling this is why I am so grateful right now.

I don't normally say what I am doing on this blog because I don't think my life is that relevant at the moment to be blogging about lol...so far I'm good. 

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2020-03-01T05:43:39+01:00

currently.

Publié par Gaelle.R

I had an experience today that almost felt like I was about to pass out... I felt like I was out of my body for a second. I was scared for a minute. I had a coffee with expresso shot and let me tell you my heart was beating so fast, my head was spinning all over the place and I couldn't stand up. I still drove home only God knows how I did it, I can't remember the whole ride home and I drove the car !

I would advise anyone who has not eat or haven't been eating properly not to drink coffee with an expresso shot. I am still not okay. It's been 4 hours since I drink it and I am not feeling well at all. My eating habit is very strange I either eat a lot or I don't eat at all which is very dangerous. 

Lately I've been expecting bad things to happen...it's like I am waiting for it to happen not that I want it to but I just don't want to be surprised...I imagine the worse possible scenarios...which is bad. 

Hopefully I get better soon,

bye.

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