No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2017-07-27T02:16:12+02:00

why do I love to read so much?

Publié par Gaelle.R 27 Juillet 2017 à 02:16 AM

Hi there,

This week is like last week and I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. But I am going to keep going because I deserve to live my life no matter what even though some things may try to get in the way...even though some situations make my life more difficult I am going to smile and move on with time of course because we all need time to grieve properly.No rushing. Right now I am learning to take my time in everything that I am doing because I realize that I perform better when I take time to think and to clear my head...

Enough about me and my ways of living so the question was why do I love to read so much ?

To start I have been reading at a very young age but at first I just did it because it was my homework but as I keep doing my "homework" I realize that I actually love it and so I would get books outside of class to read. I would spend a lot amount of time in the library rather than the playground. I was not really a "playing outside kid" I guess that's my character and I don't mind it. I am more of a indoor reading and writing type of person ain't nothing wrong with that. So I read a lot in my room or in a quiet room which is why I like it quiet I don't like loudness. I digress once again so I love reading because in a story everything is plain and simple. For example in a story the character just found a really nice house, buy it then get a car but in real life there's more to it than that. It's just too good in the book I want to live in a book I don't want real life. It's not realistic I mean the kinda life the characters have unless it's not based on a real story. I mean I can choose whatever I want for my character in a book. I can make him or her attractive, rich with a great family but in a real life you cannot choose how you want your life to be I mean you can try to make it better and succeed but you won't be able to prevent yourself from going through all the heartache you went through whereas in a book the author can choose for the character. Maybe I am not making much sense and maybe you can argue that God is our author and that he created us and I agree too but some bad things when they happen I don't think God caused it... but I know in a book the author create the character and also choose their fate. We all have our own fate.

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2017-07-25T05:13:55+02:00

what real love is...

Publié par Gaelle.R 25 Juillet 2017 à 05:13 AM

I found this post somewhere and I had to save it and share with you all... Everything I wrote on this blog comes from me and anytime I find something somewhere I will always let you all know or I would put it in between quotation mark with the author's name because I would hate for someone to steal my work or my original piece and make it as their own. But this post I don't know who came with the idea but I agree 100% and so I re-post it here on my blog also... And yes I can insert pictures, videos here too I just never had because my blog is all about writing...Until now. I am switching a lot of things in my life currently and trying some new things also. Good night y'all

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2017-07-25T05:05:45+02:00

a place from my memory...

Publié par Gaelle.R 25 Juillet 2017 à 05:05 AM

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2017-07-24T01:10:27+02:00

story time

Publié par Gaelle.R 24 Juillet 2017 à 01:10 AM

Hi there !!

How y'all doing ? well I am great. Although I have been having some internal conflicts but nothing I can't beat I have been through worse. So I remember that I have been talking about putting some story time here... Not that anyone cares but It helps me to move on and to breath. This blog is more for my well being and I know what I am talking about...anyways like I said writing is very therapeutic to me as much as music is to me so basically both of them keeps me going.

Well I am done with the intro... Let's get into the story...A while ago I met somebody (oh boy) some of you are probably are like oh my Gosh she finally met a guy she likes... Lol listen before you assume anything. It's more complicated than that. When I met the person I was still having issues with being ready and at that time I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone. I guess love find you when you least expected it. I don't think I fell in love but let me tell you the whole story. so when I first met him I was going through a lot and I was getting used to a lot of things in my life that I wasn't used to before. So meeting him I thought he was just like everyone else and he was really sweet. At first I kept things at a distance because one thing I have been taught is that I should never throw myself at a guy... even though I want the guy. This mentality cost me a lot you know I had to move on from a lot of unnecessary crush only because I was afraid to make the first move so eventually the guy would meet someone else. I digress that's not what happened with this story. When I was talking to him there might have been a little bit of flirting here and there but I couldn't see that because I was telling myself that he doesn't like me. The thing is he may have but I guess i'll never know. so basically I would talk to the person for hours and sometimes days after days so we got a little bit used to each other but the complicated thing is all that talking was on the phone not in person. So when we finally meet I could sense this awkward vibe between us and I didn't like that I mean I try everything to make both of us feel comfortable but... Well what happen was we didn't say what we want from each other we just kept going at it without saying what we want. First mistake I made was assuming, I thought he wanted the same thing that I wanted and I didn't even tell him what I wanted. I am telling you this story so you can learn from it

so first of all when you first meet a guy and y'all just talking and you don't know where things are going don't just assume things. Don't assume he doesn't like you before you ask him if he does. Don't assume that the person like you unless they tell you.
the second mistakes I made was making excuses for him saying oh he's just having a bad day that's why he did that... never make an excuse for a guy just read between the lines and what your gut is telling you is usually the right thing.

He did not disrespect me in any way which is one of the things I am looking for. But at that time I didn't know what I was looking for and so I didn't know how to react. Respect is not the only thing a guy should give you there is more than that and all he gave me was that. There was nothing exclusive I don't blame him because I didn't do anything exclusive either. I didn't do anything to win anything well that's how I see things because I did not know what I wanted. we didn't talk about having a relationship but deep down I kinda wanted that to happen but we never talk about it.

one thing I learn is take initiative in the conversation there's many ways to stir up a conversation you want to happen. you can guide the conversation to where you want it to lead you don't have to wait. I was quite smitten that I did not think about all that so I let everything go the way they were going even though I wanted it to go in a faster pace but...

so basically nothing happen between me in the person because I was afraid and I don't think I was ready. It would've been great for all the things I had in mind... I would imagine all kinds of episodes in my head about how we could talk, meet or whatever.. It was kinda sweet but soon enough I realize that I have to let it go. For my well being I had to let that illusion go because it's been proven to me so many times that this can't happen so I had to let it go... I still wonder but that's all in the past now. I have to move forward and keep on going because who knows how many times I have been through this !!

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2017-07-23T09:37:14+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 23 Juillet 2017 à 09:37 AM

Tired of it all...

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2017-07-23T04:12:34+02:00

one day

Publié par Gaelle.R 23 Juillet 2017 à 04:12 AM

One day you won't see me again and I wont see you again.

You won't have to worry about me anymore and you won't have to wonder about me only if you want to.

One day it will be the last time I am going to see you and on that day we can put everything behind us.

I don't think you know about that day but I have been thinking...

I have been dreaming about that day and each time I can see how much the distance is going to do us good.

I think that we need time apart, you and I need to cool it for a while.

I know it doesn't seem like we do anything together but the thought of you near me is more than you could imagine.

One day it will be our final goodbye as we say hello for the last time.

One day you will only remember me from your memories if only you were saving them.

It feels like a dream, I know.

But I knew that it would have come to an end very soon.

Not sure if you care but this might be the end for us

I don't think you take this seriously right now and I won't force you to care.

But I know for sure that you will wish for a lot of things when I'm gone.

You will only take this seriously when I'm gone.

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2017-07-22T05:38:58+02:00

...

Publié par Gaelle.R 22 Juillet 2017 à 05:38 AM

This darkness is not so dark,

I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I can hear the flowers blossoming as the day is waking up under the moonlight.

I can see myself waking up from a dream and watch it all become my reality.

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2017-07-22T05:23:40+02:00

Break down

Publié par Gaelle.R 22 Juillet 2017 à 05:23 AM

I've had my moments and some of you may not know what's really been going on behind this screen. I think I have limited the amount of information that I share but sometimes you have to let some stuff out one way or another. I have been known as someone who doesn't know how to express herself clearly. I don't really know how to react on some situations. I have been known as someone who seem to take things lightly but those people who think that I don't take things seriously clearly don't know me. I stress about everything and I have to always call my mom and staying on the phone with her for hours simply because she is trying to calm me down. Sometimes I feel like I have schizophrenia, no it is not that extreme but no one really know what is going on inside of me. I don't talk about my problems to anybody like that unless I trust you, feel comfortable with you or you're my mother

so many hardships yet I am still smiling and laughing because I have to be strong simply because it is not the end. God knew I could fight this battle that's why I am going through it he would never give me a weight that I can't carry. For starters I don't give too many details about my life here and I have my reasons but writing is therapeutic to me so I have to let it out one way or another. Some of you do sports or sing which is really good but me I just write until I feel better sometimes I write for the whole day... other times I just dozed off. But for the most part I always try to get back up each time I have had moments where I felt lost and not only that it seemed like I was lost which have been happening a lot recently. I feel like this year is the hardest for some reason because I am growing up at a pace that I never have. I am going through some things for the first time and I don't quite know how to react yet. I am just learning...

I need to learn to take things slow and to realize that everyone have their own time. I will have my own time and it's okay if it's not right now because one day all the pieces we fall back into place. I just need to stay sane and not letting every single thing drives me crazy. I still have a lot to learn we all do but each day we get better at it. I know that we are all fighting our own battles and that mine will never be the same as yours. Which is why we all need to be mindful that everyone have their own way of letting things out. we don't always need to take things personal when someone else do something that upset you it may be because they are going through something although it is still not okay.

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2017-07-17T05:04:52+02:00

Little fight that hurts like hell

Publié par Gaelle.R 17 Juillet 2017 à 05:04 AM

I know how hard it can be to be with someone like me.

I know how difficult I can be but I know that you stick around for better days.

Hoping that one day I will change and that I will always be happy.

I know you want the sadness part of me to go away but that's where my talent comes from.

It's when I'm sad that I make my life decision.

It's when I'm not smiling that I realize all the things I was doing wrong.

It's when I'm calm that I know who I truly am because it's just myself and I.

I know that I close the door on your face a lot lately...

But you need to believe that I don't want you to go away.

I want you to stay with me even though It doesn't seem that way.

Trust me I love every part of you even the parts you don't like. They are my favorite.

How can you possibly think you are not enough for me when you are already everything to me.

It hurts when you go away because I act like I didn't want you there.

I am mad at myself for acting this way because I always want you near me.

But sometimes I just can't accept how much I need you.

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2017-07-16T19:56:47+02:00

truth is

Publié par Gaelle.R 16 Juillet 2017 à 07:56 PM

Helloooo

It's been a while...I've been busy learning, reading, driving that's right I drive now Lol anyways enough about me...How are you doing? well me I am good. What am I going to talk about today? well I don't wanna talk about guys, relationship or whatever but I have one thing to clarify.

In the past I had a strong opinion about being single and happy not letting anyone in...I have came to realize that It is okay to let someone in. It is okay to like someone I am still holding back on the idea of truly loving someone but at least now I can see someone that I truly LIKE and admit it. Before I would say no to anything that had to do with love but that's not the way to go because love will always be there and we all need it. Truth is you are going to love someone and you are going to get hurt in some ways you never imagine you could because with love comes sadness. It's okay if the love is strong but what you can do is choose where and when you don't want to get hurt. For example: if you like a guy and you see that he has a girlfriend or talk to a lot of girls while he says that he is single...well then I got one thing to tell you run like the devil is chasing you and never look back...stop with the idea of changing a guy because it will never work. You may think he is changed but his old ways will still remain (my cousin told me that). You may think that he won't find someone better and that he will always stay by your side well baby girl that's where you went wrong because he does not need someone better he just need someone who can give him what he wants. Never be the girl who give a guy what he wants without getting back in return ...like what do you get out of all this? why can't you be happy while he's happy. Being happy around a guy should not be a problem it should be the best thing it should be a problem to him if you are not happy. Some guy thinks that if a girl is happy that means they know what they want and that they are hard to get...that's not it being happy has nothing with playing hard to get it's about knowing where you belong and what you deserve and not letting people walk all over you and change you.

Now I am not about to sit here and say I have not made mistakes in a relationship I have and I think we all because that's how we learn... But you will need to move on just like I did it may take a while but everything takes time so let it be. You will heal in due time. Don't rush the healing process which means don't rush into a new relationship because of a breakup because you will end up missing the person more when you realize that the person you are with now is nothing like the person you were with before. You just need to slow down and be by yourself ain't nothing wrong with staying by yourself because you will learn more about yourself the way you should before you go head over heals for someone who knows nothing about you. When you know yourself you will know when someone know nothing about you because you will realize that you wouldn't do to yourself what that person is doing to you.

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