No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2017-01-09T21:32:58+01:00

wondering

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Janvier 2017 à 09:32 PM

I wonder how many lies we have to hear to finally know the truth...

I'm here and I am listening yet I wish I wasn't

for the things that are coming out of your mouth do not make sense at all.

I wish I didn't have to listen to you,

But I owe you respect so I am going to sit here and pretend like I am listening.

But I am not.

I know the real story but I am not going to stop you.

You think that I don't know and you think that I will never know but baby I already know.

I'm just playing the same game that you're playing.

I saw it with my own eyes yet you pretend like I wasn't even there.

Do you think I was born yesterday?

I am not booboo the fool I know what I know that you don't know I know.

I am not going to tell you what I know until you come clean and really talk to me like you should.

You may think that I am losing but baby I'm gaining.

I hate you but I love you but all these emotions don't fit.

I know I may not act like I know that I love you because all that comes out is the hate.

But truth is with You I found my balance until you started lying to my face.

You thought that I didn't know but I am already exhausted from all the chances that I already gave you.

Why do you give in?

and why are you trying to make me think that you're strong enough to take the hate

and to feel the heat when your heart is ice cold.

Voir les commentaires

2017-01-08T05:46:56+01:00

scroll down

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Janvier 2017 à 05:46 AM

I already greet most of y'all in the previous one...

You know what's funny tho I mean I talk about so many things and some stuff don't make sense because I like to joke around and you might actually think that I am in fact serious. well I'm not. You need to really hear me out sometimes and you'll know when I am serious and when I am not it is not that hard to guess. I believe in laughter, a laugh can actually change your life I mean I will laugh anyway no matter how ridiculous it is. Okay so last year I was talking about quitting social media and slowly I was back at it again maybe a bit stronger LOL I didn't give up I just realize something...who am I to say I won't use social media? There is no one in this century who is my age and don't use social media...they at least have a Facebook account. I can't remember when I create my Facebook account tho...I mean that's irrelevant. I don't like social media and I wish I wasn't so hooked but I am not going to lie to myself It helps me kill time, stay connected, have fun, learn about real stuff, stupid stuff I mean you can practically do anything with it. So yeah I use my accounts maybe less well I try but I'm there.

Voir les commentaires

2017-01-08T00:16:40+01:00

so far

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Janvier 2017 à 12:16 AM

how is it going?

Notice how I always greet all of you before I start speaking? unless it's a poem then You won't see me say anything and that's when you know my artistic fingers are going to take over. But I am not going to talk about that. It's not what I am thinking right now. It's a new year and you need to start thinking differently, I have. I started accepting some things I was denying in 2016. Reason why I am doing this is only because the first thing in moving on and changing things about yourself is realizing your flaws and what you were trying to hide. Writing these stuff down I mean the things that I was hiding was not easy. Talking about them is repulsive I can't believe I wanted that, said that, look like that, look at that....I mean sooo many things that I had to look back on. Reason I am telling you this is because sometimes you think ignoring or hiding something will make you not notice it, wrong ! It will be there you just don't think about at it as much. One day you are going to sit down and think about it and it will be hard on you because you had all this time to take care of it and you didn't. That almost happened to me but this year I am reviewing, taking stuff out right now, bringing new stuff in.

If someone doesn't make you smile you need to let that person go. Don't hold grudges forgive them and let them go. If you want to be with someone and you see they don't want you as much you need to move on. When I was younger I wanted to be with someone older I said that before and I was not ready clearly lol and I am glad that we didn't end up being together because he did not want to be with a kid lol common' I mean he had options all I am saying is if the person you want has option well baby girl they were not meant for you. When you find the one no matter what you look like no matter what you do they will still want you and no one else and the thought of being with someone else would be disgusting to them. That person will speak your language, he will be by your side wiping the tears away and cry with you. The person you are looking for or rather the person that will melt all your senses away may not be handsome or gorgeous but they know you and they won't do anything to hurt you.

If you are a guy the one girl you are looking for doesn't only have boobs, ass and a pretty face but she has a heart and she will give you everything that she is. She will hold you down and be by your side no matter how broke or rich you are. She won't need another man to feel great because she will have you and that's everything. You in the other hand you need to make her feel like a queen you need to be with her, you need to know how to love her and treat her right. You don't need another female because you have everything right here by your side. You don't need to go to the club with your boys and getting a lap dance by some exotic dancer because you will find yourself alone afterwards wishing you didn't go astray when you had everything. Now that you have her it may feel like you can do whatever you want because you think you have her but don't forget that she can leave you anytime. She is not here to put up with everything that you are willing to give. She is not a welcome mat you cannot walk all over her. She is not just anybody she is your soulmate and your right hand you need to get that to your head and stay faithful.

If you are a girl the right guy you're looking for is not always who you expect he may not be as handsome as Leonardo Dicaprio but so what? The right guy that you need is the one that will protect you, hear you even when you are babbling about stuff that doesn't make sense. He is the person who is never tired to kiss you, hold you or give you a hug even when you don't feel like being touched. When you are on your mood swings he is the one willing to wait until you stop PMS'ing, he is the one who wakes up at 2 am to make sure you Okay when you are crying. He is the one who is always constantly checking on you, doesn't want you to go anywhere, gets jealous when another guy is staring at you. He is the one who let you be yourself, never let you overthink because he knows that it will bring you down so he will try to distract you and make sure that you are happy. He is the one that makes your heart racing, makes you want to be at your best, makes you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. He is the one that makes you smile, laugh and finally he is the one you can never run away from. So you don't need another man because you have everything right next to you. You don't need to go to the club with your girls getting drunk and embarrassing yourself because honey those days are over and it is not for you. Now you need to get your ass back home and love him.

Voir les commentaires

2017-01-06T04:26:59+01:00

the way the world works in my eyes

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Janvier 2017 à 04:26 AM

Hello..

Life is amazing ain't it? And so many surprises ! I wonder how much we can take in a week or a day !! If you see me writing this you would be like why is she so excited she doesn't seem that happy. I don't believe in pretending to be happy anymore, if i'm sad then let me be sad. You can try cheer me up but I was sad for a reason and that reason still remain. No matter what happens, no matter how loud you laugh you will still have problem it's just how you treat them. Some people can't function if they are missing someone while others just try to be busy as much as possible. We are all different and that's something I like about humans. We don't act the same way, we think differently, we love differently and we live different. I am just here wondering how can we were made by the same person but we are still different ? I mean we are all made by one creator.

It was a wonderful way to start what I am about to tell you but what I am about to say is not something I take lightly and some of you may not agree but this is my blog and I am allowed to leave my opinions here. Not to be rude lol. First of all when I say we all love differently I mean some of you may love with your all while someone else measure that love and may not want to give their all. I don't blame those people, not everyone care about your love it's the way of the world. Not everyone care that you care about them. Maybe they are so blinded that they cannot see the love. In my opinion if you care a lot for someone that doesn't seem to care about you then you need to let them go. Honestly I have never care about someone that act like they didn't care because I used to make sure to leave before I even care LOL I am not cold blooded I just hated the idea of getting your broken but nowadays as I am growing up I feel a huge hole without love. I realize that you need to love someone, you need to care about someone because that's what humans do. You supposed to love and care about someone else because you were created to do so. You were not made to love yourself. And if you repressed that love you will regret it... you need to let that love flow out. I am only realizing that not too long ago. Last year I used to say no to love, I am not ready but I don't think It's the right way to go. It may not be the best for me now but who I am to know when I am ready to love? Actually I do not know much about love I have been avoiding it for so long that I think I may start looking like those full on hard-working women who are married to their job and I don't want to look like that.

Voir les commentaires

2017-01-04T00:30:12+01:00

if it was not for real

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Janvier 2017 à 12:30 AM

Hi there...

I am currently deciding on what to write about, it is in fact a new year and I feel different maybe it's because I want things to be different this year but so far I am doing little by little all the things I have been avoiding. Why? because while I was avoiding all of these things I was still sad about what could've happen if I did. Right now this year I will go ahead and do it because I am only getting older. I won't do any stupid, reckless stuff I am just going to be the person I was meant to be.

Voir les commentaires

2017-01-01T20:52:31+01:00

goals

Publié par Gaelle.R 1 Janvier 2017 à 08:52 PM

hi there !

So it's a new year and I am not all about the new year new me stuff because I like myself but I still need to change a little bit but I don't think I should change myself completely. Why would I choose to do something like that? I mean I am not judging you if you believe in that new year new me stuff. All I can say is I need to switch my game cause some people be all up in my grill like hey chill, I am about to switch so that they won't even know what i'm going to do next (hahahaha)

Anyways this year when I want something and I really put some thought into it I will go get it. I will wake myself up and force myself to do all the things that I said that I will never do before. I will challenge myself, I will open myself up to some people who were in my life for sooo long but still don't know me. After that I will still have a small group of friends I don't want and I don't need a lot of friends I feel weird when I have too many people that I have to keep tract of because once you're my friend you're mine, you're life is now my life we are living it LOL !!!We are in this together. I mean I have many friends but I know who are my closest friends and it's not that much. I can say that I feel more comfortable in one on one type of friendship because I do not like to share. Unless we are all close the same way then I won't have a problem but after that.... we have to talk LOL. OK so this year if I change then be it but I like the person that I am I just need some adjustment but that's about it.

Honestly this year I will not be scared to say how I feel because holding it in is not a great feeling you just have all of these thoughts bottled up in your mind and you don't even know how to get them out. You're just here thinking what am I going to do with all of that...what am I going to do now? all you have to do is say how you feel or express how you feel through actions... do whatever it is to get all of those feelings out of you. Don't hold grudges or anything that can interrupt the peace in your life. Let the people who did you wrong go but forgive them because if you don't forgive you will still talk about it and that is not peace. Let those people go, you might not forget what they did to you but you can still forgive them. Don't talk bad about people you don't know because you don't even know them.

Voir les commentaires

2016-12-31T03:36:11+01:00

How was 2016 ...

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Décembre 2016 à 03:36 AM

hey ...

where do I start ? all I can say is 2016 was the year I found myself well one of them, was it the best? I don't know... if I could describe that year I would start by saying Okay let me compare it to something you might understand I won't explain it in my level cause I know I won't make sense LOL whatever okay... uhm do you know like when you meet a guy and uhm you're like damn he is such a badass I can't deal. Then you start interacting and you're like dayummm I was wrong ok so you're telling yourself that he is not that bad, that was me in the beginning of the year I was like "it's not bad" It's great" like "gurl you got this don't worry " Then as you start hanging out with the guy then you ask yourself maybe I was wrong he is not that great I mean ... he's alright. You feel me? Ok so in the middle of the year when I dyed my hair and I had to deal with some stuff, comments, opinions mind you I did not care. I fckn loved it and I was happy with my hair but some people was surprise not expecting that from me. so as you go out with the guy you see him acting different ... that was some people I was used to and suddenly they acting like a different person. I mean I am glad that they started acting different because I could see their true self. I mean I am not about to say that I did not change because I did by the middle of the year I was a whole different person. I did not see life the same way, I look at some people different. Why is that? because some of y'all act fake and when I see someone act fake Imma leave I won't deal with you. LOL oK let me get back to the story ...so as you get to know him you see that he is different from what you thought he is two faced. He can be sweet, mean, honest and he can be a liar.What do I do when 2016 was going down the drain I just sit down and figure out a solution you know, although I had no Idea what to do. I did not want to give up ! Thanks to all the people who supported me, been there with me, cried with me or hold me while I cry wait ! did I cry? Uhm I can't recall but I know there was times that I was real emotional and someone was there for me so I really thank you for your time and attention. I came here on my blog to say this because I want to look back on this and some of you need to give the people who were there for you some credit.

Voir les commentaires

2016-12-29T16:45:29+01:00

that space in between...

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Décembre 2016 à 04:45 PM

Hello ! Christmas is gone now we are waiting for new year's meanwhile what do I do with that space? There are many things you and I could do but there are other things we may choose not to do. We could have fun with this amount time forget about what happen or we can sit down and talk about all the things that happened. We should be thankful, thankful that we are still living without any extreme health problem well if you think your health problem is extreme just be thankful that you are still breathing. I have so many things that I need to go over, a lot of things in my mind that I wish I could get pass but I can't. I have to face them because they are a problem. Sometimes I feel like I should know how to handle these things because I have been over them before but I keep making the same mistake over and over and again. Some people may not understand the struggle but I am not about to make any more excuses because it's a waste of time. What I need to do is focus on the changes that I need to make. We all have something that we want to change but if many people point that out well maybe you really need to change it, it's not them but it's you. It's so hard to admit where you went wrong. But you have to face your issues some day you cannot keep on running away from them. sometimes you need to take a break but at some point you will need to go back to it. No more procrastinating.

Talking to yourself saying You can do It, it's not that hard just keep at it. Speak more even when you don't feel like it. Trust some people more and express yourself let them see you, Stop hiding. Don't let the world gets to you, keep on your space but not to the point where you isolate yourself too much. What should I do? How many more voices can I hear? How many more warnings can I take? How many times I am going to mess up and ruin things again? What If I was meant to be this way. The world is one big circle and you're just in the middle of it chasing after your dreams. We all do that. Maybe some just shut these voices out but that's your conscious talking, Its telling you what you don't want to hear but have to hear. It is even worse when someone else have to tell you and it will happen if you keep ignoring all the signs.

We all have problems some may think that theirs are worse than someone else's problem but not really. You think everything is falling apart then what happens when it's time for you to die? You're not dying then how come everything is falling apart? all I can say is make the best of it and learn. Sometimes well most of the time I think that things are falling apart and I even say it but I know that I am wrong. Life is a huge circle bigger than the world. You can do whatever you want with your life but you can't do whatever you want with the world for the world can kick you out...You can choose to make the best out of your life or you can choose to let everything go.

Voir les commentaires

2016-12-26T02:54:26+01:00

Merry Christmas !

Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Décembre 2016 à 02:54 AM

I love Christmas ! I just love the songs the vibe and the decoration that's why it is my favorite part of the year. Yesterday Was my birthday on Christmas eve maybe that's why I love christmas so much. I am happy that I am older despite everything. So while it's christmas there are plenty of things I could talk about but I can't because they are private but if you are close to me you know or you will know very soon. I am wondering if maybe I am making everything that are happening up or if I am dreaming. I don't think I am it feels so real that I don't think I can see all this clearly... Anyways all I can say is everything you do in your life make sure that it won't shut the doors that were supposed to open for you. Sometimes you might think that you have to work something on the side to get what you want when in fact you didn't have to, The thing you've been waiting for was already there for you. Now you look like a fool, This is not about me well what I mean is everyone is bound to make mistakes and I will too. I made a lot of them and I am not going to hide the fact that I do because I am not perfect and you're not either. I am not acting perfect because I can never be that. I am me and that is all I can be. Truth is the reason why I am telling you this is because I am going to make a point but you know I love an intro in everything...

let me tell you a little something, If you are living right now this year, today in this world I believe you have priorities. I do and we all do. You have a family, job, school and the fun part. I realize something...If you're doing well in your job getting money and everything your relationship with your closest people will change why? because you don't have time for them. You may love them to death but because you are not there what difference does it make? Right? I mean if you're doing well with your closest people always with them and not work well you won't have enough money in other terms you might become broke. But I mean what's more important? money or the closest people that you love in your life? You can answer in your heart I already did... and I know what I must do now. I love people but if I go astray it may look like i don't appreciate you or that I don't care about you but that's not what it is... truth is I don't know how to go back the way it was. Deep down I want to go back the way it was, I still care about you and I love you the same way. Not because I am not there or hanging out with someone else that I don't like you, I still do and that will never change because I like the way it feels to be by your side laughing and having fun.

Voir les commentaires

2016-12-21T01:44:59+01:00

Trying to change the color on your mood ring.

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Décembre 2016 à 01:44 AM

Hello I haven't been here in a while thought I should stop by... Well everything is good not great but good. I am soooo happy that my birthday is coming up, I know that some people are sad that they are getting older but I am just happy why? because I have seen a new year one that I had many adventures, fun stories, learn a lot and laugh a lot because I believe one should be laughing which is why I cannot stay serious when I need to (it's a bad habit) I mean some people laugh at funerals. I am not that bad I mean my situation is not that awful. I just love to laugh and to have fun with someone I trust and love... when I say that some people are like oh ok I get it so you don't laugh and have fun with me because you son't trust me and you don't love me NO !!! I love most people as long as you're being yourself there is mo way that I am going to hate you I just don't like people who pretend and hide their true feelings... I love honesty truly. If you are mean then be that and maybe I'll hear you out although I don't like mean people ugh ! they take pleasure in other's misfortune. I like when people are happy because that makes me happy, I love when we are all laughing and having fun because I believe that we should all be happy. If you know me or seen me before you might think that I am cold on the outside well all I can say is there is so much more it's up to you to decide how warm I can be maybe not hot as a stove but anyways I am not cold blooded (scary laugh...Maybe) Nah I am not half bad.Anyways my birthday will be here in four days and I cannot wait to grow old LOL

Voir les commentaires